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Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?

An emergency hangry kit, a Triwizard cup, and a really insane toilet paper holder: How far can *you* get without buying something?

Jenny Chang / Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

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Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”

I am your host, Jeff. The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something. The list may seem like it’s random, but it’s not.

Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe.

Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!


1. An easy to load toilet paper holder that I can't stop watching.

Seems easy two-ply to your wall.

Price: $14

2. A keyboard nebula decal so you can feel like you're typing in space.

Just don't space out.

Price: $5

3. A steam ship pot cover that appears to be seaworthy.

Great for blowing off some steam.

Price: $12

4. A coffee bag with a built-in pour-over for no mess coffee at a picnic. / Via

For those who do a pour job of making coffee on the go.

Price: $6

5. Vortex chain toys to help restless hands keep busy.

This might the missing link in your life.

Price: $12

6. A laundry soap station so you don't have to keep tilting and moving the jug around.

Seems like you might have a lot to Gain from this.

Price: $18

7. Nail polish that changes its color depending on the temperature. / Via,

Temperature?! I hardly know her!

Price: $12

8. A pirate costume that can fit both your cat *and* your dog.

This cat seems quite hooked on it.

Price: $10

9. A Triwizard Cup that is TO DIE FOR.

Also, it lights up.

Price: $50

10. A rotating pupil alarm clock that'll always have its eyes on the time.


Price: $18

11. Ultra easy to set up christmas tree lights to cut out all the bullshit.,

What a re-leaf!

Price: $40

12. A crab multi-tool that has nine uses in one!

Great for when you're in a pinch.

Price: $20

13. A sparrow salad bowl set that's pretty fucking cute.

Those birds have seemed to perch-ased this bowl as well.

Price: $40

14. An adjustable calendar that lasts for 50 years.

This style will never go out of date.

Unless it's 2053...

Price: $11

15. A hangry kit for desperate times.

Don't be snack-a-lackin'.

Price: $25

16. Beads that you can use to add ~texture~ to your nails.

I don't think you can use these for a necklace. Even if you could, it might make you too strung-out!

Price: $3

17. Emoji pillows that you are sort-of on the fence about... but are now thinking, "They might be perfect for someone."

If they ever start talking to you, take what they say at face value.

Price: $8

18. A microwavable s'more maker for when fire is not an option.

It's Oliver Twist's favorite.

Because he wants s'more...

Price: $9

And that about wraps up my findings for the week. If you would like to keep on going, be my guest and check out last weeks' edition here!

Still looking for something for that someone? You might have more luck checking out our 2016 gift guides here.

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