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Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?

Cat-shaped sticky notes, bamboo glasses, and sushi socks: How far can *you* get without buying something?


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Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”

I am your host, Jeff. The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something. The list may seem like it’s random, but it’s not.

Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe.

Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!


1. This Pusheen sleeping mask that will have you looking adorable when it's most important.

Sara / Amazon / Via

It will really increase your face value.

Price: $9

2. These cat sticky markers that are fucking cute as fuck.

MV / Amazon / Via,

These ought to have to feline organized!

Price: $5

3. This alarm clock with wheels that rolls all over hell if you don't wake up.

This would be wheel-y great in college.

Price: $40

4. These heart-shaped straws because...just look at them.

For those heart-to-heart talks.

Price: $9

5. This cold brew coffee maker to energize your mornings.

Cool beans!

Price: $50

6. These socks that look like sushi when you fold them up.

Seems fishy.

Price: $19

7. These bamboo frame glasses that just look snazzy.

Just don't wear bamboo glasses in the zoo. There might be panda-monium.

Price: $8

8. This cup with a manatee at the bottom waiting for you.

Don't let it drown! Oh the hu-manatee!

Price: $15

9. This moon night-light that you've been waning for all your life.

Maybe you need a moon night-light? Or it could just be a phase you're going through.

Price: $7

10. This butterfly pen flipper so you can threateningly take notes.

It's is the penultimate pen flipper.

Price: $10

11. This waterproof notepad so the rain will never stop you from writing ever again.

Spilled water on it? No problem. Water-relief!

Price: $7

12. This covert coin knife for cutting tiny pizzas.

Perhaps this will change your mind?

Price: $33

13. These slate rock coasters that are something you won't take for granite.

I said I wanted them in slate gray but this is just ridiculous.

Price: $18

14. These shoe lights for those late-night expeditions.

These will really take a shine to your shoes.

Price: $16

15. This transparent sun visor so you can still have a full view of the road.

Maybe you'll see driving in a different light.

Price: $12

16. These forearm lifting straps that make moving heavy things way easier.

For strapping young lads and ladies.

Price: $21

17. These waterproof socks so you never have to experience wet socks again.

Have you ever had wet socks before? It socks dude.

Price: $31

Got through this post but still have some fight left in you? Try last weeks' edition.

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