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Mr. Mime Isn't A Goddamn Pokémon

We've been fooled for years by this charlatan.

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At most — at most — Mr. Mime is maybe some sort of magical man. A wizard, if you will. A conjurer of cheap tricks and illusions, sure. But a Pokémon? Never.

Mr. Mime is the only Pokémon with an honorific title. That is because Mr. Mime is a fucking person, and not a Pokémon.

The Pokémon Company International

And that should be obvious by looking at him and then looking at all other humans and then looking at Pokémon.

Much like any other Homo sapien, Mr. Mime is a bipedal creature with two hands and two opposable thumbs. He has hair only on the top of his head. He cooks food. He wears clothes. He wears gloves. He wears shoes.

He wears. Fucking. Shoes.

The Pokémon Company International / BuzzFeed / Jean-Luc Bouchard

I know there are other Pokémon who wear shoes as well, but it's really just icing on the deceit-cake that is Mr. Mime's believability as a Pocket Monster.

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Mr. Mime is called Mr. Mime regardless of whether it is a male or female. That's because Mr. Mime isn't a Pokémon, but one singular man who is fooling us all.

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So please stop calling Mr. Mime a Pokémon, or trying to capture or battle him. I'm pretty sure it's just enabling him to keep up this lie. Let's all just pretend he isn't real and maybe, just maybe, he'll go away.