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But first, let's talk about how food babies are made...
When a man wants a woman to 'give it up' on the first date....
Or when that man inevitably proves to be a dick....
Or on a day...a single fuck was mustered. .....Or not mustered.
And especially when alcohol is involved.....
Something will enter your pie hole, and magic will happen.
But there are consequences to your five minutes of pleasure.
People will congratulate you. After all, Frat Bro Kevin said you "could never finish a large pizza in one setting, dude." That stupid fucker.
You can't believe something so precious came from something so animalistic. You're glowing.
Nope. That's sweat. You asked for double barbacoa.
Is that a kick? No, just gas.
Your maternal instincts kick in. You rub your food baby.
You nourish your food baby.
You talk to your baby.
You will experience morning-after sickness.
You will experience post-pizza depression.
You may even consider controversial methods to abort the food baby.
Before the 'big moment', you will be restricted to bed rest....
....I suggest you get a magazine.
Open your legs. And push.
Push it real good.
AN' FLUSH!
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