5 Things That Are Not Seltzer

No I do not want plain Tonic Water with my sandwich, do you think I'm crazy?

Seltzer goes by many names

You may call it soda water, fizzy water, or bubbly water. You'd be weird, but at least now we're all on the same page. However, here are some things seltzer is decidedly not.

1. Club Soda

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This is bubbly water that has sodium added to it, either with salt or baking soda. It tastes like drinking soda made of sweat, don't do it.

2. Tonic Water

Not These Guys / Via popdose.com

Are you an old-timey colonialist? Are you worried about malaria? Do you have gin? If you answered yes to any of these you can drink Tonic Water, the rest of you get out.

3. Sprite

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I KNOW IT'S CLEAR THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO DRINK IT.

4. Perrier

Spaceballs / Via nowiknow.com

Too rich for my blood.

5. Flavored seltzer

Via eatandsipinthecity.com

Ok yes this is technically seltzer, but if I wanted flavors I'd drink a damn soda.

So just please give me my bubbles already, ok!!

Via giphy.com