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22 Things People Who Are Chronically Early Will Totally Understand

"I'm not always there when you call, but I'm always on time." Well ahead of time actually.

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1. You arrive to movies so early that the theater is almost always empty.

Or sometimes even the previous screening is still showing.

3. So you end up lying to your chronically late friends so they’ll ACTUALLY show up on time.

The CW

"Yeah the reservation is for 8."

It's actually for 8:30, because you know that's when they are going there anyway.


5. You routinely call your boss to tell them you might be late and you show up early anyway.

TV Ashi

You: Erin, this is Paula, I might be running about 10 minutes late.

Erin: Don't worry about it, just get here safely!

You: (Walks in 10 minutes early)

Erin: Wait, I thought you were running late?

You: Well, I'm here 10 minutes early instead of 15, so I am technically late.

8. When you get to restaurants before everyone else, you act like you're busy on your phone.

Columbia Pictures

Server: Are you sure this is a party of five?

You: Yes, my friends are on their way.

(Let me just pretend I'm texting so the server won't totally think I'm here by myself.)


10. Then you lie when the rest of your party arrives and asks you, "How long have you been waiting for?"


"Oh, just two minutes." After you've been checking your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Tinder for the past 30 minutes.

11. You set all your clocks and watches ahead on purpose to ensure that your whole life is ahead of schedule.

Plot twist: Work always starts at 9:30 for you.


15. You obsessively map out your routes to ensure you're never late to anything.

Late is never great.

16. You get to places so early that you walk around for a little bit so it makes it seem like when you walked in you just arrived.


19. You have a couple of people you call when you're ~waiting around~ for your late friends.

"Hi, Mom."

"No, nothing's wrong, I'm just here waiting outside of my hair place."

22. Because of course you live and die by the mantra "If you're on time YOU'RE LATE!"


If you're 15 minutes early, you're on time. If you’re on time, you're late. And if you’re actually late, you’re dead.