1.
Men who aren't ur bf: what kind of a fool doesn't massage & oil their girlfriend three hours a day Men who are: he… https://t.co/1VNQCMlwvm
2.
can you imagine how hot we all would have seemed like 600 years ago
3.
Every female chef on Chef's Table: "Food is an expression of love and I want to nourish the world" Every male chef… https://t.co/e3ycvmWn45
4.
other girls wearing low ponytails: smart, classy, professional, beautiful me wearing a low ponytail: will turner i… https://t.co/E4Mgu8VnVT
5.
[shoving glitter glue and felt pens back into my bag, visibly upset] ok look all I'm saying is maybe you guys shoul… https://t.co/ebkKuV9nFx
6.
MEN: we're gonna stop flirting at work and giving unasked-for hugs WOMEN: great MEN: wait, no, you don't understand, those were threats
7.
You ever send ya man a funny meme & he say he already saw it..like wow u laughed at it & didnt think that maybe I w… https://t.co/GQDPp4pzqY
8.
Women: Dear men, please treat us with respect Too many men: FINE, I GUESS I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO A WOMAN AGAIN EVER
9.
Being a straight man on instagram is easy heres coffee and a book. The book is by david foster wallace. Or michael… https://t.co/x3yqlrZW9Y
10.
woman: [makes joke] man: okay you do realise this is INCORRECT? let me explain
11.
Uterus: Look! I put up the wall paper for the new baby! Body: yeah... There isn't a baby. Not this month. Uteru… https://t.co/0T9SD2LRY0
12.
Really happy they labelled which toothbrush covers are for men so I don't accidentally kill my husband, who is alle… https://t.co/xHou4DTn8K
13.
my face without makeup at home: glowy, fresh, fading acne scars my face without makeup in the mirror of a public to… https://t.co/TI8uKxaN7y
14.
[me as a DJ] Where my single ladies at? *drunk responses* This one's for you *turns off music, serious tone* This is a bad place to meet men
15.
me on facebook vs. me on twitter
16.
"LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE." commands the small cushion. You whisper "I'm trying" but that only makes it angrier
17.
Dudes make fun of girls for duck face yet all their selfies look like the last known footage of them
18.
Your MCM thinks texting “WYD” and “how’s work” ten times a day is getting to know you. he’s 31.
19.
Girls vs Boys
20.
hey it's me, your friend who ignores everything going on in the group text and then chimes in every six days with a single "omg"
21.
If female writers wrote characters of the opposite sex like male writers do
22.
you vs. the girl he cheats with
23.
I just wish white men could stop talking to me at this point
24.
literally just saw a 10 year old girl wearing a shirt with sparkles that said "doing my best" fucking same bitch where'd you get that