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49 Thoughts Everyone Has While Shopping In Lush

Why is nobody else picking things up and smelling them?

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1. Ah, when the smell hits you right in the face. Lovely.

2. I wonder if I'll smell of it when I leave, it's like a free perfume.

3. I'll just go in to smell things, maybe get a bath bomb.

4. Scared to pick one up from the display in case they all come tumbling down.

5. They're so weighty.

6. I could bulk buy them, but how are you meant to store them?

7. Ooh there's one called "Sex Bomb", that's clever.

8. A bath with one of these would be very Instagrammable.

9. Even though I'm too scared to Instagram my baths because what if my phone falls in?

10. I'm going to act like I don't know about bath bombs so I can ask one of the sales advisers to demonstrate it for me.

11. Mmmm, so fizzy, so satisfying.

12. And bubble bars, this is one is so shiny, so sparkling.

13. And now I have glitter particles all over my hand.

14. I'll just find a random surface to wipe my hand on and then onto the soaps!

15. Which I won't buy because I use shower gel like a normal person.

16. But this one is called Porridge and it kind of looks like it.

17. I'm just going to pick it up and smell it.

18. Why is nobody else picking things up and smelling them?

19. Isn't that like, the point of coming here? To smell things?

20. Why do they label things reminding you not to eat them? I'm not an idiot.

21. And yet this soap in my hand looks so tempting, so delicious.

22. Okay I understand why now.

23. And what are dusting powders?

24. Is this like baby powder, for adults?

25. One of them's called "Silky Underwear", who knew Lush was so risqué?

26. I'm not going to buy a dusting powder. I don't have time in the morning to be coating my body in powder.

27. But this one is called "Powdered Sunshine". That sounds so optimistic.

28. I'll make time for it in the mornings.

29. Ah, to buy regular shampoo or a shampoo bar?

30. How am I meant to remember what all the different soaps I'm buying are for?

31. I like all these little faces on the tubs. It feels so personal.

32. *Inspects tub* Ooh, Rafal made this moisturiser. He made the one I have at home too. We must stop meeting like this.

33. Am torn between wanting a fresh face mask and knowing you have to chuck them within two weeks.

34. My fridge is also already full of fresh face masks that I'm 99% sure went past their best before date a few months ago.

35. The gift sets here are so nice, why does nobody get me a gift set.

36. Fuck it, I'm getting myself a gift set.

37. Shop assistant has asked if I need any help. I will say this gift set is for my sister. She won't know that I don't actually have a sister.

38. I hadn't noticed they do things for your teeth here.

39. Do people actually buy their toothpaste from Lush?

40. I bet the people who do really have their shit together.

41. I bet they use a bath bomb every damn day.

42. Oh my god they have solid toothpaste.

43. How have they turned so many things that should be liquid into solids?

44. They're called "toothy tabs", well this is interesting.

45. Will probably stick to Colgate rather than these purple breath-mint looking things that are called "Oral Pleasure" though.

46. Right, I should get to to the till now.

47. I'm quite proud of myself for showing some restraint and not blowing all my money in here.

48. Oh, I spent £77.50.

49. But still, my baths are going to be beautiful.


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