1. When you find someone but not the right someone.
Me: I'm tired of being single Person I don't want: Let me change that Me:
2. When you've been there and done that.
Step up ur game fuck boiiis
3. When you start looking at alternative options.
When you're done with men
4. When you have a lot to say.
me giving advice on relationships even though i've been single for 19 years
5. When meeting up with someone new doesn't go as planned.
When u chill with someone for the first time and u already know its gonna be the last time
6. When you see people bragging about their love lives.
"My boyfriend is so cute" "My boyfriend treats me hella good" "I luv my bf"
7. When you start wondering where the hell this soulmate is.
Studies show you already meet your soul mate before age 21. Me:
8. When you go on dates and try to be your best self.
Me before a date: don't dress weird, don't act weird, don't say anything weird. Me showing up to that date:
9. When you think of your dream partner.
Done with dating sites. I'm now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a job, a car, and pizza.
10. When you get stuck in this situation.
so basically u wanna have every privilege my boyfriend would have but u don't wanna be my boyfriend
11. When you play this power move.
when he leaves you on read for a week and you ignore his text for 2 minutes before replying
12. When a interesting prospect doesn't go as you thought.
Me: "I've met a boy" A week later:
13. When you wonder how much you're meant to be dating.
look, I'm gonna die before I get 15 people to date me.
14. When you feel like going old-school with your meet-cutes.
I don't use social media or apps to date because I'm in my 30s and I prefer meeting men the old fashioned way: never.
15. When you have to deal with this shit.
When you're not in a relationship but you're having relationship problems.
16. When you have some serious questions for God about your love life.
Me: "God I'm content in my singleness" GOD: "Good cause you're gonna be single for another 10 years" Me :
17. When you like someone and don't want to ruin it.
me when i talk to my crush: hey what's up bitch me on the inside: oh u fool u have ruined ur only chance at love
18. When you think of a new plan.
I'm not so much "not looking for a relationship right now" as I am "waiting for all the good guys to get divorced"
19. And when you're wondering how much time there's actually left.
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE BETTER HURRY AND FIND ME ALREADY BC THE ICE CAPS ARE MELTING FAST AND THE BEES R DYING AND WE A… https://t.co/yDqnJR9s41