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21 Reasons Mince Pies Need To Be Stopped Immediately

But where is the "meat" in the mincemeat though?

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1. Because their very name is misleading.

Elenathewise / Getty Images

When you hear "mince" you can't help but imagine a lovely pie filled with lamb or beef. Sumptuous, hearty, and most importantly, savoury.

2. So your first experience of an actual mince pie was probably laden with disappointment.


"WHAT IN FRESH HELL IS THIS?" you said, before trying to discreetly spit it back out into a napkin when nobody was looking.


3. And the fruity filling is still referred to as "mincemeat", which makes no sense at all.

Sarahdoow / Getty Images

Ever gone down the meat aisle in Tesco and seen this? Exactly.

4. The only meaty thing about them is that they sometimes contain suet, a fat found around the kidneys and loins of beef and mutton.

6. The filling is just a dark, depraved, fruity free-for-all. Just look at it.

7. So you don't really know what to expect when you bite into them.

A squidgy raisin? A slimy chunk of apple? There are no good options.


9. Every year you will think "This year, this will be the year mince pies make sense to me. In the same way my palette adjusted to coffee, it will adjust to mince pies."

me: maybe i'll like mince pies now me, after eating one: did satan just shit in my mouth?

And every year you're left bitterly disappointed.

10. Only the pastry is decent, but in social situations you can't just leave a mincy blob on the plate.

Every year I become better at hiding the fact that I only eat the pastry of a mince pie never the filling

11. But then puff pastry mince pies exist, which are even worse than normal ones.

Flaky pastry, air, and raisins. Mmm.


13. This mince pie looks like it's vomiting. It knows it's gross.

Tesco Iced Top Mince Pies - my left molar hurts 6/10

16. It's started to infiltrate other foods too.

So now mince pie flavour ice cream is a thing. No. Just no.

17. Mince pies just don't know their place, which is in the bin.

This is a new addition to the strange flavours of popcorn I've discovered , mince pie flavour. #strangefoodstuffs

18. And definitely not inside cookies.

Tesco have mince pie cookies, I'm scared to taste them! #Tesco #dublin #Ireland #mince #pie #christmas15

19. Frankly, it's obscene.

Tesco unleashes Mince Pie flavoured crisps on the nation


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