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21 Punny Tweets That Will Make You Laugh Every Damn Time

"Why is it called boob sweat and not humidititties?"

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"What kind of guys are you into?" Me:

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*explosiom of light* *univrse is created* *earth forms* *plants grow* *a grape fals off a vine adn drys* evreythimg hapens for a raisin

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I'm not appreciated enough. Saw this bread and not one person laughed when I said "dat ass dough".

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[blind date] HER: I'm a big country fan ME {trying to impress her}: China is very large

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Remember to check ur kids' candy on halloween, i found a razor in my daughter's M&Ms this morning

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Me: hey famous actor Dwayne Johnson, why do they call you the rock? *Dwayne runs fulls speed at a pond and skips like 15 times* Me: OH MY

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y'all still living in 2017, meanwhile this man living in 3017

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Why is it called boob sweat and not humidititties

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I don't know about magic but I got a couple twix up my sleeve

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"Babe can you move over?" "But I don't have mushroom"

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Look how instinctively, the mother croc carries the baby in its mouth. Nature is beautiful.

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Gardening was never a hobby of mine, but I thought I'd give it a spin

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Love ruining the plot of Dorian Gray for people. Never gets old.

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Presumably good at helping people stay alive.

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

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