Buzz·Posted on 23 Oct 201618 Times Women On Twitter Were So Damn Hilarious About Dating"Sat next to a guy on the subway who didn't manspread at all and just quietly read his book. Best date ever."by Jasmin NaharBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Jess is Spooky @jessokfine Trying to flirt? I can help. I know all the best compliments. Like this one: "you have very healthy pink gums" That one is yours free. 02:40 PM - 16 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. 3. Julieanne Smolinski @BoobsRadley I don't use social media or apps to date because I'm in my 30s and I prefer meeting men the old fashioned way: never. 05:01 PM - 17 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Gabby Noone @twelveoclocke honestly the assumption that you have to go on a date to have a handbag stuffed with breadsticks is very toxic & exlusionary to me 07:05 PM - 06 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. Elizabeth @Elizasoul80 First date Him: What do you do? Me [pulls out a Victoria's Secret catalog that I've clearly glued photos of my face into] "I'm a model." 04:00 PM - 28 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. 7. keely flaherty @flahertykeely sat next to a guy on the subway who didn't manspread at all & just quietly read his book. best date ever 01:25 PM - 25 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Aparna Nancherla @aparnapkin DATING PROFILE: i want someone with the grim conviction of a detective solving the murder at the end of the episode but goofy too, ya know? 06:48 PM - 30 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. molly @MollySneed [first date] I just love that you are a normal, cool girl. *subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair* -Yeah, totally. 03:30 PM - 17 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. beth @imteddybless when u start dating someone the impulse is 2 show them ur best self. dont. turn up 2 that 1st date on fire. if u cant handle me on fire etc. 03:04 PM - 23 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Megan Amram @meganamram In relationships, I'm an old-fashioned kind of girl. When I'm having sex on the first date, I only do it by candlelight. 10:51 PM - 24 Aug 2011 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. ktkins @voldemortsbicep Dating Tip: stare at your phone willing them to text you until your resentment grows to such a point that you never want to see them again! 01:04 AM - 30 Aug 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. 🔥 @Sassafrantz [first date] Him: You're amazing! I'm having a great time! Me: I will fight you for the rest of this pizza. 01:21 AM - 15 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. maura quint @behindyourback 5 Ways To Tell If You're Dating a Real Man 1 Is he strong 2 Is he soft 3 Is he agile 4 Does he leave hair on your bed 5 You're dating a cat 02:54 PM - 30 Dec 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Sophia Benoit @1followernodad sometimes I just say really boring things to the guy im dating to make sure we are still on speaking terms after a couple minutes of silence 09:45 PM - 14 Jul 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. AmberTozer @AmberTozer Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don't like them 04:56 PM - 17 Sep 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Charlene deGuzman @charstarlene DATING TIP: If you fill up a backpack with hot bread and wear it to bed it feels like spooning 05:10 AM - 27 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. madeleine sweet @madeleinesweet DATE: um, hi nice to meet y- ME: *muffled by my jousting helmet* you are a small and weak man 08:32 PM - 27 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite