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18 Hilarious Jokes About Alcohol That Are Just So Damn True

"I doubt vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot."

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1. This change in your attitude.

Sober in an Uber: Please don't talk to me. I don't know you. Drunk in an Uber: I want to get married one day, but I put up emotional walls

2. And this important distinction.

hate the phrase "drunk words speak a sober mind" drunk me has a completely different agenda than sober me like i don't even really know her

3. This responsibility.


5. This complete and utter godsend.

if u try to send a drunk text and it ends up in your drafts thats the universe looking out for u

8. This moment where you just get on with it.

when you accidentally pour too much alcohol into your mixed drink and you have to toughen up because momma didn't raise a quitter


11. This moment of true clarity.


14. This skill all drunk people have tried to master.

Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.

15. And this idea that makes total sense.

Red Bull and Vodka. Because you want to be wide awake for this mistake.

17. This wine-induced realisation.

Me: I'm definitely over him Wine: No