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22 Hilarious Tweets About Babies

"The best part about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate."

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1.

oh your son is 73 months old that's cool i literally i have no idea if he's five or forty two

2.

[meeting friend's new baby] ME: awww—how long until it builds a coccoon HER: a what? ME: oh sorry, chrysalis

3.

The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate

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4.

LIFE HACK: give ur next child a normal name ME: are u still mad that ur mother and i named u Life Hack

5.

"daddy where do babies come from" "we just don't know, sweetie...*peers through blinds, the sky is dark with babies* "...we just don't know"

6.

Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed. Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter.

7.

does it even matter if babies get switched at the hospital like who cares

8.

Friend: [showing baby photos] Me: Ah yes, very baby

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9.

science defines a baby as "a small smooth poopy man, no taller than a lamp"

10.

I don't think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work

11.

[finally gets the car seat installed correctly] Me: Where’s the baby? Wife: In college.

12.

mom: you were supposed to buy a baby stroller dad: [tightens saddle on raccoon] This is better

13.

*picks up crying baby* it's fine buddy when u grow up you will learn how to do this on the inside

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14.

People my age are making babies and I can't even make a salad

15.

me: *names child butter* me: *accidently brings home wrong child* me: i can't believe it's not butter

16.

Yes, how much for the baby jacuzzi? Ma'am, that's a crockpot.

17.

"I wasn't born yesterday" - Lying newborn baby

18.

Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.

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19.

Waiter: and for sir? Baby: [closes menu] bring me your finest tits

20.

Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is yours.

21.

I slept like a baby! "Lucky!" No. Not lucky. *slowly turns towards you* I shit my pants and cried most of the night

22.

[baby's first words] baby: d-d-d dad: dada? baby: d-d-d-dONALD TRUMP 2016

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