Last month, I revealed to the world my inner anguish about not being able to find the woman Alex Salmond fed a Solero to in 1999.
I asked for your help – and you responded.
More than 100 of you sent me tips, advice, or just sincere best wishes as I set out on my quest to find Alex Salmond's Solero Lady.
.@JamieRoss7 and the Last Crusade #AlexSalmondsSoleroLady
Some of you were helpful, and some of you weren't – like this dreadful bastard who told me he'd found her only to reveal he was taking the piss.
I now have to tell you some bad news: Despite an extensive and truly global search, I haven't been able to contact Alex Salmond's Solero Lady.
The #AlexSalmondsSoleroLady dream appears to be dead – my last lead just dried up. Very sad. Very sad...
I have spoken with a man who knows her brother, but it seems she has (quite rightly) decided against the idea of being interviewed by me.
I also understand Salmond himself was asked to help with the search, but he just "laughed and shrugged his shoulders".
But do not weep, Solero fans, because something wonderful has happened. Since the search began, Soleros have come to dominate UK politics.
New Tory election poster #GE2015
Conservative activists protested outside the Labour conference in Birmingham brandishing Salmond masks and Soleros.
More Conservatives with Alex Salmond masks turn out to suggest a minority Labour govt would need snp support
There's no photoshopping here. This is a thing that actually happened.
Soleros have become an important addition to every serious election campaign.
.@IanMurrayMP treating #TeamMurray to Soleros after a great session, sadly we did not find #solerogirl @JamieRoss7
It's been the talk of parliament.
Just been to @OpenEurope event in Westminster. All anyone wants to know is whether @JamieRoss7 has found "that Solero lady".
In fact, every big name in politics has had a nibble of Alex Salmond's Solero.
Due to overwhelming public demand #EdEats #SoleroLady (cc @GregCampbell5 @DavidMcAndrews @zoesqwilliams)
George Osborne proudly held up his big box of Soleros in Downing Street.
@GeneralBoles @JamieRoss7
Before distributing a Solero to each of the Treasury gang.
Inevitable #Budget2015 Solero pic
Soleros became a red line issue for an SNP/Labour coalition.
@Caledonia_1 @heraldscotland close
Alex Salmond's Solero also played a key role in the "alternative budget" presented by the Liberal Democrats.
It's funny because it's true #Budget2015
They were a dealbreaker in the TV debate negotiations.
David Cameron: "I'll do the debates, only if everyone else has to talk while being fed a Solero by Alex Salmond."
They have eased cross-party relations.
@janemerrick23 today's definitive Solero pic has already been done :)
They've played an important role in international diplomacy.
And they have become central to some of the most iconic moments in history.
@GeneralBoles @JamieRoss7
Basically, Alex Salmond has fed a Solero to most women in Scotland since the search began.
@Aidan_Kerr1 @MichaelPDeacon
#solerogate
#solerogate
And to Scarlett Johansson as well.
@GeneralBoles @JamieRoss7
He's had an enormous Solero monument built in the town where it all began – Stirling.
@JamieRoss7 During happier times Alex Salmond does a fly past the world famous Solero Monument in Stirling.
And he erected a permanent statue dedicated to his love of iced lollipops.
Not oi be outdone by Sturgeon's portrait Eck unveils another monument to himself.
Even the animal kingdom has got in on the Solero action.
.@JamieRoss7 didn't you hire @TomChivers for this sort of thing?
What were the woodpecker and weasel so excited about? @AlexSalmond and the solero, of course! cc: @JamieRoss7
#solerolady
Sometimes, like me, Alex Salmond is haunted by that sunny afternoon in Stirling.
Alex Salmond becomes wistful as he's reminded of a happier time in his life (cc @JamieRoss7)
Some people have questioned if it's even a Solero at all – and I'll admit I now have my doubts.
Important thought, @JamieRoss7: Is it an orange Calippo, rather than a Solero?
@mrdavidwhitley @JamieRoss7 Definitely not a Solero. Ridges at the side incompatible with Solero ovoid smoothness.
Reporting live from Big Tesco: I don't think it's a Solero. Back to the studio.
Alex Salmond's Solero Lady still finds ways to stay topical and up-to-the-minute with current affairs.
#SoleroEclipse
Anyway, as things stand, I still get at least one tweet like this every day.
@JamieRoss7 Have you found Solero woman yet?
And, occasionally, things like this happen and I entertain the notion that I will one day find her.
I know someone who knows the identity of Solero Lady
But for now, I've bravely decided to let her be.
Maybe it's best I never find #AlexSalmondsSoleroLady. Maybe she belongs in that sunny Stirling afternoon, craning her neck towards a Solero.
Thank you, Alex Salmond's Solero Lady, wherever you are, for the joy you've brought to our lives.
And we hope you don't mind, but we have decided to immortalise you in an oil portrait entitled The Dream Shall Never Die.
Farewell, Alex Salmond's Solero Lady. You will live on forever on our office wall.
This is a proud moment for @BuzzFeedUKPol and the start of our commitment to the art world.