Last month, I revealed to the world my inner anguish about not being able to find the woman Alex Salmond fed a Solero to in 1999.
More than 100 of you sent me tips, advice, or just sincere best wishes as I set out on my quest to find Alex Salmond's Solero Lady.
Some of you were helpful, and some of you weren't – like this dreadful bastard who told me he'd found her only to reveal he was taking the piss.
I now have to tell you some bad news: Despite an extensive and truly global search, I haven't been able to contact Alex Salmond's Solero Lady.
I have spoken with a man who knows her brother, but it seems she has (quite rightly) decided against the idea of being interviewed by me.
I also understand Salmond himself was asked to help with the search, but he just "laughed and shrugged his shoulders".
But do not weep, Solero fans, because something wonderful has happened. Since the search began, Soleros have come to dominate UK politics.
Conservative activists protested outside the Labour conference in Birmingham brandishing Salmond masks and Soleros.
Soleros have become an important addition to every serious election campaign.
It's been the talk of parliament.
In fact, every big name in politics has had a nibble of Alex Salmond's Solero.
George Osborne proudly held up his big box of Soleros in Downing Street.
Before distributing a Solero to each of the Treasury gang.
Soleros became a red line issue for an SNP/Labour coalition.
Alex Salmond's Solero also played a key role in the "alternative budget" presented by the Liberal Democrats.
They were a dealbreaker in the TV debate negotiations.
They have eased cross-party relations.
They've played an important role in international diplomacy.
And they have become central to some of the most iconic moments in history.
Basically, Alex Salmond has fed a Solero to most women in Scotland since the search began.
And to Scarlett Johansson as well.
He's had an enormous Solero monument built in the town where it all began – Stirling.
And he erected a permanent statue dedicated to his love of iced lollipops.
Even the animal kingdom has got in on the Solero action.
Sometimes, like me, Alex Salmond is haunted by that sunny afternoon in Stirling.
Some people have questioned if it's even a Solero at all – and I'll admit I now have my doubts.
Alex Salmond's Solero Lady still finds ways to stay topical and up-to-the-minute with current affairs.
Anyway, as things stand, I still get at least one tweet like this every day.
And, occasionally, things like this happen and I entertain the notion that I will one day find her.
But for now, I've bravely decided to let her be.
Thank you, Alex Salmond's Solero Lady, wherever you are, for the joy you've brought to our lives.
And we hope you don't mind, but we have decided to immortalise you in an oil portrait entitled The Dream Shall Never Die.
Farewell, Alex Salmond's Solero Lady. You will live on forever on our office wall.
Jamie Ross is a Scotland reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Edinburgh.
Contact Jamie Ross at email@example.com.
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