1.
My kids are a quarter Jewish, so they'll only get gifts on two nights of Hanukkah.
2.
Think how much more exciting "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel" would be if they'd written it after the dreidel was dry & ready.
3.
[Christianity] You were a bad boy this year. Santa is gonna give you coal. (Christmas music starts playing) [Judai… https://t.co/fLiCADuBzJ
4.
Actual conversation I had this morning: 🙎♂️ “What are you doing for Christmas?” 💆🏻♀️ “Oh. I’m Jewish I don’t cele… https://t.co/VA9Smt92ez
5.
Only 33 days till Christmas and I’m still Jewish
6.
*at the breakfast table* My dad: so Chanukah’s coming up jake. Anything specific that you might want? Me: a purpose.
7.
Imagine if ur cell phone battery was on 10% and it lasted for 8 days. Now you understand Chanukah.
8.
#growingupjewish having dreidel lights instead of Christmas lights
9.
Oh, you have a trendy upside down Christmas tree set up? I have an upside menorah, bitch!
10.
"It happens to a lot of guys" - girl on Hanukkah to a guy who can't make his oil last 8 days
11.
“We celebrate all Religion’s holidays!!!” Decks out the office looking like a Christmas tree exploded and puts a… https://t.co/yTa3i4w3oU
12.
Christmas movies rebooted as Hanukkah movies: -Home Shalom -A Christmas Carole King -It's a Wonderful Life When You Call Your Mother
13.
Okay but can we talk about the war on Hanukkah because I've never seen a menorah on a Starbucks cup
14.
I have still yet to see a dreidel made out of clay..
15.
Idea for Disney song: Hakuna ma Hanukkah.
16.
why didn't the grinch ever steal hanukkah what does he have against the jews
17.
Trying to figure out if it’s Chanukah or Hanukkah …
18.
"So is Channukah like the Jewish Christmas?" No. No it's not. Read a book. #growingupjewish
19.
I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, "We legally had to do this."
20.
Every year I spell Hanukkah differently and it's correct every time.
21.
My dad is a republican but he's also Jewish so he's really militant about saying "Happy Hanukkah" to everyone, regardless of their religion.
22.
In case anyone was looking for one, I found an emoji menorah today for $20 at wegmans
23.
Just realized this is going to be my first Hanukkah without Charles Manson
24.
Whether we celebrate Chanukah, Christmas or Kwanzaa I think we can all agree that quality family time is a disaster