Although it's been 10 million years since I've used Craigslist, I know that the site is a great way to put out advertisements to the world. HOWEVER, I feel like one Craigslist ad has gone to the extreme.
On Twitter, comedian Kimberly Harrington shared pieces of a Craigslist ad seeking a "household manager / cook / nanny," but y'all...the requirements of this role are ASTOUNDING.
Look I know what day it is and where I’m posting this but I still challenge you to find ANYTHING more bananas bat shit than THIS. I DARE YOU
So the ad started off pretty straightforward — they wanted someone long-term who exhibited all the good signs of "leadership, strategy, drive, attention to detail, high energy, and kindness":
They also pointed out that the mom is a CEO and "needs to relax on weekends":
Then it got exceedingly more detailed. This person also needs to ideate vacation options, put those ideas in Excel spreadsheets, compare "using credit card points to booking vacations versus paying cash":
This person needs a Google calendar for the gardening, child. OH, and the owner of the ad made sure to note that they can specifically "eat duck eggs" :
Wait y'all, I am ROTFL — this person needs to "correctly quantify how much fish to purchase for five people" :
On top of all that, the person also needs to be "physically active," can "influence the children positively in many areas including self-soothing, self-discipline, organization, conflict resolution, perseverance," and would ideally be able to "speak Spanish or French fluently, able to teach the kids to play the piano or guitar and Water Safety Instructor certified." Simple, right?
Honestly, is there any price too high for ALL this?
@honeystaysuper Really, is any price too high to pay for someone who knows how much fish to buy!?
I mean...happy wife, happy life:
@honeystaysuper Why doesn’t this woman just admit that she needs a wife?
Some people are now questioning their entire parenting styles:
@honeystaysuper I thought I was a decent mom & now see the myriad ways I am a failure. I supervise my kids by the pool but I’m not lifeguard-trained. I’m not 100% familiar with mortality rates of beef eaters. I also don’t always make our returns on time, esp with Old Navy’s harsh 45-day policy.