16 Things From "Sex And The City" That Would Be Unacceptable Today

Yes, we loved the show. But can we really have a moment to discuss the show's issues?

We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share the moments in Sex And The City that would totally be problematic in 2019. Here are some of the best responses...well, worst moments.

1. The completely inappropriate way men sexually pressured women in the workplace.

HBO

"When Carrie was writing the article for Vogue and her boss hit on her in the Vogue closet. It was extremely uncomfortable because you wondered if he had given her drinks so she would be more submissive. Or the pressure Charlotte got to give her boyfriend a blow job."

—sonyac4771faaac

2. The way Samantha's friends slut-shamed her.

HBO

"I really didn’t like when Charlotte's brother was in town and he decided to sleep with Samantha, and Charlotte judges her and blames her instead of her brother. Charlotte constantly slut-shames Sam and treats her like a second-rate person."

—myonnegault

3. The overall closed-mindedness around sexuality on the show.

HBO

"The bisexual episode, where Carrie's boyfriend came out as bi, really upset me. All of the girls were so bi-phobic and didn't believe bisexuality could be real."

—carlaw41d0d84b1

4. The anti-Semitic stereotypes against Jews that were evident in the series.

HBO

"The antisemitism tropes were extremely offensive. Of course Harry is a lawyer, is hairy, and suffers from serious sweat issues. As soon as Charlotte converts to Judaism, she acts rude and pushy when buying meat at the butcher shop."

—kittensnugglefluff

5. How women pressured other women to do sexual things they weren't comfortable with in order to keep a man.

HBO

"There's that point where, early on in the show, Charlotte's boyfriend says that he wants to do anal and Charlotte's not into it. Samantha tries to pressure her into it because she'd lose her man if she didn't do it. I thought that was always really screwed up for a show that claimed to be so progressive towards sex and women having it to have that message."

—jessicam42a95e5bf

6. The stereotypes attached to the gay characters on the show.

HBO

"Having gay characters that were just there to fawn over and adore the fabulous women, while having no outside life of their own, was completely dismissive. The characters also had to fit into certain boxes of gayness, because the girls definitely had issues with trans and bisexual appearances. The girls’ GBFs were just sexless accessories in one-way friendships."

—andytheislander

7. Carrie's excessive entitlement despite her terrible money choices.

HBO

"When Carrie expects Charlotte to lend her money, and gets upset when she won't — what an unreasonable request to make of a friend! It's not like it was a twenty for lunch. She's an Upper-East-Side divorcee, not Bill Gates. Plus, Carrie definitely would have been able to afford things had she not spent all her money on shoes and things that would not turn a profit in the case of an emergency."

—maggiem45481cd39

8. How women were pitted against each other over a man's affection.

HBO

"I always hated Smith's first episode when Samantha and another woman are basically competing over who gets to sleep with him. Like he's a prize to be won. Also, they both just assumed that he would go for one of them because they wanted him, as if he had no say in the matter."

—kimberlyy403bcd84b

9. Mr. Big and Carrie's relationship actually being pretty toxic.

HBO

"I love the show so much, but there’s just so many frustrating parts of it. For instance, it doesn’t pass the Bechdel test once in all six seasons. Also, Big is a toxic, emotionally-abusive male lead who has taught so many young girls to expect less than the bare minimum from men."

—pri103

10. The way women are judged for not being married by their 30's.

HBO

"The ageism towards women is SO apparent now. One of the main themes of the show is how challenging it is to be a single woman in your 30's. In one episode, they use Carrie on the cover of a magazine that is shaming women who remain single and go to bars at her age, and she’s so mortified that she almost sleeps with a mediocre guy JUST to validate herself. Half of Charlotte’s story is about her frantic search for a husband, and her frustration and embarrassment at not having one by her early to mid-thirties."

—jamief4dd75e773

11. The classicism that shows throughout the show.

HBO

"When the girls were getting pedis and Charlotte was talking about how they couldn’t pretend they lived in a classless society. She tilted her head towards the nail techs, insinuating they were in a lower class."

"When Charlotte had no real criteria for selecting who would replace her at the art gallery so she just picked the candidate that reminded her of her old self."

—indiag426821344

12. That women, once they were married, quit their jobs because they were being taken care of.

HBO

"I understand every woman has a choice, but when Charlotte quit her job because she got married? It was so archaic to think that finding a good man with money warrants you to leave and be a housewife. Like it was 1850 or something."

—lindsayb42bb479a4

13. The girls being okay with Carrie when she cheated on Aiden, even though it wouldn't have been fine if the tables were turned.

HBO

"I rewatched a few seasons recently and I was offended that when Carrie cheated on Aiden, all her friends but Charlotte were ok with it. I guess we were supposed to take Carrie's side because of Mr. Big, but he was married and she was in a relationship. Then when it ended, they all told her NOT to tell Aiden. Charlotte even threatened Carrie because it would ruin her wedding photos. You love this person. You are living together and he was 100% committed."

—zeilerra

14. The idea that being 30 years old makes you, well, old.

HBO

"I am 30 on the nose. In my twenties, I never blindly hero-worshipped women in their thirties, and now, I do not resent women in their twenties. I feel like in this day and age, women worth knowing are psyched to support each other. Charlotte lying about her age to bang the dude in his twenties was pathetic because you shouldn't have to lie. 30 isn't old."

—lbbrnn0814

15. The fact that the show was quite white-washed. VERY white-washed, actually.

HBO

"Being a group of isolated white women in New York City was extremely annoying. They had very little diversity in casting. That’s not the racial profile of any metropolitan area and it definitely wasn't believable."

—stephe4fc077afc

16. And finally, the gross stereotypes they attached to the ~few~ minority characters on the show.

HBO

"The way they treated/portrayed black people on the show was terrible. Black men were their mandingos, and black women were stereotypically combative, racist, or just didn’t exist until the narrative was convenient."

—actoranon

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