10 Helpful Hints For Surviving Thanksgiving As A College Student
Gobble gobble.
1. Anticipate your parents forgetting cranberry sauce.
Just show up with some. If you don't, you know you'll be forced to assassinate some old lady in Shaw's for the last can during the rush.
2. Dilute Nana's sangria whenever you have the chance.
"More ice, Nana?"
3. Do not mention any free time you have.
"What are you doing thats so important?"
"You mean higher education?"
4. Have a pre drafted Christmas list for elderly relatives.
Nothing peeves Aunt Muriel off more than missing the early order opportunity from the Sky Mall Catalogue.
5. Invest in a corset.
Broken ribs feel a lot better than "You look healthy!" sounds.
6. Preemptively pop an Advil.
This will ensure after 5 Mimosas, 400 little cousin piggy backs, and heavy lifting assorted casseroles that you'll still feel like the essence of youth.
7. Preplan your food coma napping spot.
Everyone has that one gassy uncle who will try to beat you to the recliner.
8. Wear only clothing previously gifted by family members.
Nothing says "Im thankful" like pulling out the velvet turtle neck you got last year.
9. Use reverse psychology.
"Mom, PLEASE let me help you in the kitchen. I've watched A LOT of 'Chopped'."
10. Find your favorite pie. Tell everyone how awful it is.
Its the only way to keep it safely in tact for you to devour later on.
Preach.