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12 Things People Succumbing To The Dark Clutches Of Extreme Sadness Will Understand

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1. The happiness of those around you only serves to exacerbate your pain and suffering.

2. Your dwindling appetite leaves your frame withered, much like your mind.

3. A trip to Six Flags® Magic Mountain® would be a welcome distraction from your constant sadness.

4. Even your dreams are plagued by that which haunts you in the day, leaving you no earthly escape from this torture.

5. Everything serves as a reminder of whatever caused you this great emotional turmoil in the first place.

6. The only thing scarier than imagining what sorrow the next day may bring is the thrill ride that is The Viper® at Six Flags® Magic Mountain®.

7. You haven't told your parents because you don't want them to worry. You'll pull out of this soon enough, hopefully. There's no need for them to worry. Not yet at least. Right?

8. The horrifying descent into what may be an inescapable pit of despair is nothing compared to the 255 foot drop on Six Flags® Magic Mountain's® Goliath®.

9. The constant gnawing regret of every decision you've made up until this point right now. You had it in your fucking hands and you blew it. You did this to yourself.

10. You know what. This is a good thing. This is what separates us from the fucking animals. This is what makes us human. I'm happy about this. I'm going to hold on to this feeling and never let go. Even if it fucking kills me.

11. In operation since 1971, Six Flags® Magic Mountain® is a ton of fun for the whole family.

12. Six Flags® Magic Mountain® has 18 roller coasters, more than any other amusement park in the world.

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