1. Not even this title card could aptly warn of what's to come on WE tv's new series Sex Box.
2. This is what the eponymous sex box looks like.
3. The show features three experts "at the top of their field." The first is Fran Walfish.
4. There's also Chris Donaghue.
5. And Yvonne Capehart.
6. With that exposition out of the way, the couple comes out. They discuss their relationship before the experts ask questions.
Walfish's hand gesture will haunt your nightmares.
7. And there are really deep breakthroughs.
Capehart gets him because his hair is equally as confusing as her pink top.
8. Soon, advice is handed down.
9. Then, the time comes...
10. And we learn it's really what's after the sex box that counts.
11. Then, the couple enters the box and it immediately turns red.
Danger. Danger for all of us.
12. And they are timed!
Meanwhile, the experts alternate between talking about their clients outside of Sex Box and commenting on the Sex Box couple's time.
13. Then, the box turns white and the couple emerges...
14. In silky pajamas, per the experts' earlier request.
There is no way any human feels good on national TV in these ensembles.
15. And then, the experts ask the couple do some rating.
In this case, the male partner was not satisfying his female partner, so both the husband and wife rated his performance when it came to pleasing her.
16. Apparently, a C+ is a solid grade in the bedroom.
The husband also made his wife come first, hence the not-so-casual leg lift.
17. And with that, they are on their way to having slightly better-than-average sex!
18. There's also a Sex Box correspondent who does man-on-the-street sex interviews.
19. And things like this are said.
20. Then, the experts do it all over again with two more couples in the hour-long episode.
Rinse and repeat.