How To Survive As A Female In A Line Of Work Dominated By Men

Here's a punch list for how to deal with all of the men you work with on the daily.

1. Burp, Fart, and Talk About Pooping As Much As They Do

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Hold your own when they talk about bodily functions. Go further than they do, even, and create a poop chart for the bathroom you keep destroying for them. Warn them, when you've eaten a burrito so they'll know to expect some gnarly gas from you. And stop wearing deodorant so that you'll all smell like bad B.O. together. Just don't ever mention anything about your vagina. It is FORBIDDEN. 

2. Know How To Talk About Work, Sports, And Shitty Obscure Music.

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Know each topic. Live it. Sleep it. Breathe it. Be able to hold conversations during your lunch breaks that you're inevitably forced to spend with your coworkers. Talk about these very important topics or you’ll be forced to pretend to watch sports on the TV at the dive bar they drag you to.

3. Thicken Your Skin

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Know that when they say, "She's on the rag," or, "Take a midol," or "You got that ok?" or, "You should smile more," or, "Women," or, "That's unladylike," or "She's a bitch," or “You’re strong for a girl,” or, “You’re [anything] for a girl,” or “Let me get that for you,” or, “Are you getting emotional?” or, “Don’t hurt yourself,” or “Let me explain it to you,” or, “It just needs a feminine touch,” or, “Let me know if you need me to handle this for you,” or anything else that might seem condescending and sexist, just know, it’s not. They only mean it as a joke! Lighten up, you're usually so cool! They're kidding!

--OR--

Be whoever the fuck you are because you're a badass bitch and who cares what the fuck they think of you. You're a goddamn queen, so don't pretend to be anything other than the Empress that you are. 

YAS

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