11. General Hugh McKraken
A Naval officer with “kraken” in his name. Yes. From “American Warships,” an asylum ripoff of “Battleship”. Don’t fret — it’s going to be mustaches from here on.
10. Kyle Western
Three Amazon reviews — all positive!
Killer in a bowtie. From “Friday Foster”
8. Chubbs Peterson
[chuckles as he pats Happy with his wooden hand]. From “Happy Gilmore”
7. Dr. Artimus Snodgrass
bonus British accent! From “The Sasquatch Gang”
6. Fortune Dane
“Called upon to be incensed in one scene, Mr. Weathers pointlessly jumps onto the hood of a car to deliver his message.” — New York Times review.
Hope he got to keep that blazer. Meaning the coat, not the gun. Or the cigar. From “Bucktown”
4. Dreamer Tatum
The finest defensive halfback in his league and a proponent of Pyramid Power. From “Semi-Tough”
3. Sgt. Jericho “Action” Jackson
Even Jericho Jackson is pretty awesome. Also, Vanity.
1. Apollo Creed
Still the champ (of Carl Weathers character names). From “Rocky,” duh.
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