Meet Malcolm, The Bird With Better Accessories Than You

Malcolm is just one of those birds that happens to have it all. Holy crap, are you jealous of a bird right now? Come on man, that's low.

Meet Malcolm: he's saving you from some rubber pencil toppers while sporting a dashing blue cape. Vigilantism and style go hand in hand for this little looker.

Here he is making a some dish that will undoubtedly go viral on Pinterest, because everything he cooks is gastronomic perfection.

Malcolm is the original lovebird.

He's got the key to the city, and to your heart.

And lastly, Malcolm wants YOU to vote.

But seriously, go do it.