18 Ways To Rule The World

Tired of civilian life? Sick of being a nobody? Follow these failsafe steps to becoming a politician, and you too could be knee-skidding down the corridors of power.

1. Join a good party

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His party looks banging.

2. Have rad hair. And hairspray. All the main ones are seriously lacquered.

civicandcitizenship.edu.au

Bob 'Mo' Hawke

3. Listen to the voters

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Take criticism on the(ir) chin.

4. Be brave

youtube

A dependable figure when the going gets tough.

5. Rock a casual look

dailytelegraph.com.au

Coz suits are for stiffs... and trunks really ain't.

6. Play mind games with your oponents

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7. And silence your critics

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8. Learn to make big calls

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9. Even when everyone thinks you're crazy

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It's tough, but it's your life.

10. Start budding up with people you've seen in magazines

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Trick everyone into thinking you're way cooler than you are.

11. Already cool?

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Prove it with shades.

12. You gotta know how to make an entrance

telegraph.co.uk

And cut down on the daytime drinking.

13. You gotta be prepared to dig deep

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Pick your nose and eat it like no one's watching. Be true to who you are.

14. It's important to look awesome when you're riding your steed.

Alexey Druzhinin

Coz chicks dig it and so do guys. Vote bait.

15. Show you're down with the kids

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And do a shit load of crack.

16. And show you're good with kids

telegraph.co.uk

Photographers mainline this stuff.

17. Consider facial hair wisely

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Coz we're all a little skeptical of the toothbrush tash.

18. But most importantly, be a douchebag

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You'll fit right in.