A Poem For Amanda Palmer

Written by: Afentras Big Fat Morning Buzz (on the Alternative 96.5 the Buzz, Kansas City) Genius and Attractive Listners

you don’t know how it feels to have to choose paper or plastic

you don’t know if Anne Frank was a Belieber

you don’t know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop

you don’t know what it’s like behind blue eyes

you don’t know who’s your baby daddy

you don’t know you are NOT the father

you don’t know how many cats it takes to make Vietnamese soft rolls

you don’t know why Amanda Palmer calls them “soft rolls” instead of “spring roll”

you don’t know what I did last summer, so stop pretending

you don’t know what it’s like to only have 12 followers

you don’t know the pain of choosing salad, then wanting soup instead as the waiter walks away

you don’t know why people like Mumford and Sons

you don’t know why your check engine light keeps coming on

you don’t know me. A song by Ben Folds featuring Regina Spektor

you don’t know how many pints are in a gallon

you don’t know most of the words to that Alt_J song either

you don’t know what it’s like to haiku

you don’t know if you will ever get google fiber

you don’t know how hard it is to smoke yourself to the point of having to turn up
the volume on the TV to taste your food

you don’t know if it is just a cold sore

you don’t know whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable

you don’t know if that’s really your air filter at Jiffy Lube

you don’t know the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the areas of the squares whose sides are the two legs

you don’t know Keyzer Söze

you don’t know what Eddie Vedder is saying either

you don’t know the muffin man

you don’t know what the Rock is cookin’

you don’t know what to do with wide ruled notebook paper

you don’t know how many McChickens to order at 3am

you don’t know what its like to be the 16th best radio station in Kansas City

you don’t know how many people think they were the first to think of the Tootsie Pop tweet

you don’t what you’re talking about Willis

you don’t what you’re talking about Willis

you don’t what you’re talking about Willis

you don’t what you’re talking about Willis

Written by (in order of appearance):
Texline #5233
Texline #4479
Texline #8938
Texline (unknown)
Texline #4282
Textline #1760
Textline #7133
Textline #4273

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