What Students Say In Discussion Section V. What They Really Mean

Anything to avoid an F

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Comment: “I just want to build on something Karen said.”

Translation: My friends threw all my textbooks out the window during a party last weekend, but I’m not going to let that stop me from getting some participation points. Also, I have a thesaurus under the table that I’m going to use to slightly change all the adjectives Karen used in her comment to repackage it as my own.

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Comment: "I mean, as a highly educated man of his times, Chaucer would undeniably have had a thorough command of Latin. Thus, the fact that this phrase is reminiscent of an alternate verb tense hints at the presence of a relevant secondary meaning.”

Translation: I went to an expensive prep school and I want you to know.

nossi.edu

Comment: “Can you rephrase the question?”

Translation: Man, look at all those people out the window! There’s, like, dozens of them. Walking around, talking, buying food … Why are all the Mexican food carts on the same street, anyway? Isn’t that bad for business? That’s odd; the constant murmur in the classroom has stopped. Everyone is looking at me. Oh shit! The professor must have asked me a question. Come on, Evan, think! Figure out a way to stall!

harryneelam.com

Comment: “Chaucer is obviously a genius.”

Translation: I did the reading, but I didn’t understand it because my puny brain is unable to comprehend anything other than intellectual conformity and hero-worship.

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Comment: “I really liked the poem.”

Translation: I went to a toga party last night and woke up this morning with a headache that made me feel like I was giving birth out of my skull. I'm amazed I can string a sentence together.

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Comment: “I didn’t like the poem at all.”

Translation: I am possibly the only person in the class who actually did the assignment. I found it uninteresting and possibly pretentious, and I refuse to pretend otherwise. Unfortunately, I know that this will just result in someone else shooting down my comment successfully because, if the professor assigned this poem, he definitely thinks it is God’s gift to mankind.

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Comment: “Despite everything you just said, I still think the heart of this piece lies in the opening passage."

Translation: I started reading, but I only got to the first passage. At that point, my favorite show came on, and a pretty good show followed it, so naturally I had to watch that too. This pattern continued for the next six hours. Fortunately, television stops getting good around 3 a.m., when the late-night comedy shows end and you start getting things like “Who Wants to Date a Bi-polar Comedian” and infomercials for pillows. So I picked up the book again, reread the first passage, and then I realized I didn’t have to read further since I was already better-prepared for section than most of my classmates.