1. Turning on the cold water and having it be warmer than the hot water tap.
2. Receiving a notification on your phone that it needs to cool down before you can use it.
3. Hearing the cicadas sing you the song of their people every single night.
4. Sweating while sitting on the toilet because there's no ventilation.
5. Waiting for the seat belt and steering wheel to cool down before driving anywhere.
6. Or alternatively, driving with your thumb and pointer fingertip because the steering wheel is too bloody hot.
7. Having the ceiling fan on the highest setting, which makes it spin so fast that it looks like it could fly off and kill you.
8. Being constantly attacked by mozzies, spiders, cockroaches, flies and other random bugs.
9. Taking ice cold showers in the middle of the night.
10. Breathing a sigh of relief when you see that it’s only going to be 28C later on in the week.
11. Chucking a sickie so you can head to the beach.
12. Posting a temperature shot on your Instagram story — just to demonstrate how truly hot it is.
13. Escaping to the movies or any shopping centre purely for the aircon.
14. Stepping in a patch full of bindis.
15. Watching the cricket — or at least, having it on as background noise.
16. Hearing a "zzzzzzzzzzz" at night because you decided to sleep with the window open.
17. Purchasing entire trays and boxes of mangoes and cherries when they’re on sale.
18. Eating hot chips on the beach and spending the whole time trying to avoid the thieving seagulls.
19. Saying "Fuck, it's hot" at least 10 times a day.
20. Having a barbie at the beach or in a public park.
21. Drenching yourself in Aerogard and still being eaten alive by mozzies.
22. Repairing your broken thongs with a bread clip thingy.
23. Thinking that if it hit 40C on a school day, you would get to go home.
24. Overhearing the weather person on TV say "It's going to be a scorcher!"
25. Being exhausted 99% of the time due to the sweating, exhaustion, humidity and hot, sleepless nights.
26. Seeing the bushfire ads on TV, which lead you to start monitoring your own area for fire alerts.
27. Being caught out on a scorching hot day that ends in severe thunderstorms with hail the size of tennis balls.
28. Going to Kmart and buying a cheap-ass $15 fan.
29. Listening to "In The Summertime" by Thirsty Merc on repeat, all summer long.
30. Sitting around a glass table in someone’s backyard, playing card games and talking shit long into the night.
31. Ducking out to the shops in nothing but your swimmers/boardies.
32. Parking further away from your destination to get a spot in the shade.
33. Being scalded by the boiling hot sand at the beach while walking towards the water.
34. Walking around with frizzy hair because the humidity just won't quit.
35. Turning on the aircon in the car and having hot air blast out.
36. Sticking to public transport seats with your sweat.
Making small talk with shop assistants by saying "It’s hot out there!".
38. Having all your leftover Christmas chocolate melt into a sad mess.
39. Deliberately making plans at a mate's place on a hot day, who just happens to have a pool and/or aircon.
40. Getting branded by your seatbelt when you sit in your car.
41. Not being able to stop eating Zooper Doopers — even though your mouth is all cut up from the plastic.
42. Getting ready in the morning and seeing that it’s already 30C at 7am.
43. Not being able to sleep because the temperature only dropped down to 29C at night.
44. Accidentally leaving pens in your car and having them legitimately melt.
45. Doing constant Macca's runs to get your fix of Frozen Cokes and 50 cent cones.
46. Sitting inside all day with the blinds closed during a 40 degree day — because you literally have no energy to do anything but exist.
47. Being trapped on a train that is so hot, it feels like you've stepped into the depths of hell.
48. Having one state go through a heatwave with record temperatures while another is experiencing flooding.
49. Popping over to Coles or Woolies to pick up more Zooper Doopers, only to see that they're sold out.
50. Being slapped in the face by the heat when you make the transition from your freezing office aircon to the outside.
51. Experiencing the worst sunburn of your life — even though you remembered to slip, slop, slap.
52. And showing off your terrible sunburn marks and the peeling on your socials.
53. Stepping outside and feeling the heat radiating off the ground.
54. Having aircon — but choosing to never use it and being oddly proud of that fact.
55. Seeing a bunch of bluebottles line the shores of your favourite beaches.
56. Standing by the door waiting for that cool southerly change to hit during a scorcher.
57. Being hotter inside your car than you are in direct sunlight.
58. Accidentally eaten a bug…or two…without realising.
59. Getting a Slurpee from 7-Eleven while on a road trip.
60. Screaming bloody murder at a group of flies that just won’t fucking leave you alone.
61. Having a stash of Zooper Doopers in the freezer.
62. Being glued to the screen during the finals of the Australian Open.
63. Finding a huntsman in your bedroom that initially freaks you out, only to later befriend it because it's chill and isn't too close to your bed.
64. Whacking your shoes upside down before you wear them in case of any lurking cockroaches.
65. And lastly, trying to cook an egg on the road to prove just how fucking hot it really is.