If "Squid Game" Was Set In Australia And Not Korea, This Is What Would Happen


    🚨 Warning: Spoilers ahead for "Squid Game"! 🚨

    Squid Game, the Korean dystopian drama series, has taken over the world and is on track to become the most-watched original series on Netflix.

    A guard in Squid Game looks at the 456 contestants

    It's since inspired a bunch of hilarious memes, countless fan theories and an obsession with the cast — who have been sharing the most adorable behind-the-scenes photos.

    A close up of Gi-hun looking at the umbrella shape he has cut out of the dalgona candy

    But with the show being set in Korea and paying homage to local childhood games, the burning question everyone has is how Squid Game would play out in other countries.

    If Squid Game was being played in the country you live in, what games do you think you’d have to play?

    Twitter: @dondadabossman

    Inspired by the above tweet, here's what would feature in the Australian version of Squid Game.

    The poster for Squid Game; there's text added saying "Straya edition"

    1. Instead of Gi-hun betting on horses, he would gamble all his money playing pokies at his local RSL.

    2. And because of that, he would be left with no choice but to take his daughter out to KFC or Macca's for her birthday — most likely KFC, as that way he could get Popcorn Chicken.

    3. He still meets the salesman at the train station, but would be asked to play a game of slapsies, with the loser getting a slap to the face.

    4. Gi-hun, along with the other 455 contestants, would be taken to an uninhabited island near Perth.

    5. They're kept under watch all the time by guards wearing green and gold uniforms.

    6. The first round is a bull rush-beep test hybrid, which would involve players having to reach the other side of the field within a certain time limit. Once they've crossed the boundary they're safe, but if they fail to do so they'll be shot dead by Healthy Harold himself.

    7. Oh, and did I mention that the contestants have to wear school hats and that if they fall off, they'll get shot? Australians know the rule — no hat, no play.

    8. In this version of Squid Game, Deok-su would be an eshay. He would still intimidate everyone, but would also call them a cunt.

    9. During that short period when the contestants decide to end the Game and return to the real word, Sang-woo would treat Ali to a piping hot meat pie from 7/11.

    10. The second game looks easy on first glance, but it would soon have the players sweating because they need to cut out a shape from that same rock-hard toffee that's sold at Aussie cake stalls. Shapes include: The "S", a kangaroo, Australia and someone giving you the finger.

    11. And, of course, Gi-hun and the other players would resort to licking the heck out of said toffee to get their shape out.

    12. Plus, a creepy version of "Fruit Salad" by The Wiggles would be playing in the background to unnerve the players.

    13. If you made one wrong move and shattered your toffee, the guards would say "Yeah, nah, sorry mate" and then eliminate you.

    14. In-between rounds, the players would be given Le Snaks and Milo for sustenance. 

    15. The lack of food would cause tempers to run high — so much so that Deok-su and his crew of eshays would plan to riot after lights out. But with the guards seeing everything, they would release a group of swooping magpies — resulting in even more chaos and deaths.

    16. The third round would see the contestants be divided into teams, specifically school house colours. 

    17. As part of the game, they have to come up with a random house chant (e.g. "We are the the team of the blue triangle, every team we meet we mangle. Squish 'em, squash 'em, put 'em in a jar") before playing a round of backyard cricket. 

    18. In the unlikely event of a tie between teams, the rubber of destiny would be used to decide on the winner.

    19. Gi-hun would have doubts about his team, but as it turns out Il-nam is a huge cricket fan. He loves good old Warnie and uses his T20 match knowledge to lead his group to victory.

    20. Meanwhile, the police officer would have broken into the Front Man's office and discovered that this competition has been going on for years, with several childhood games like Golden Child, Pass The Parcel, Musical Chairs, Heads Down, Thumbs Up and Duck, Duck, Goose being used to determine winners.

    The Squid Game salesman and Gi-hun talking; the salesman is asking if Gi-hun would like to play a game and Gi-hun responds by saying "The fuck did you just say to me cunt?"

    21. For the fourth round, the players are instructed to pair up and are assigned different childhood games that will enable them to move on to the next round.

    22. Mi-nyeo gets left behind by Deok-su, which would result in her yelling: "But we hooked up, you cunt? You know what? You're fucking dropped."

    23. Gi-hun and Il-nam would be handed a bag of Tazos and have to duel it out against each other. Meanwhile, Sang-woo and Ali are instructed to recite "Hot Cross Buns" on the recorder perfectly. Sae-byeok and Ji-yeong are given strings to make scoobies, but they decide to play something simpler to decide their fate — a game of MASH.

    24. Deok-su and Player 278 would engage in an intense one on one handball sesh. Already a couple points down, Deok-su realises that he can't be his opponent, who seems to have skills passed down from the handball king himself — Kevin07.

    25. In a fit of eshay rage, Deok-su would then challenge Player 278 to a new game — who can skull a pint of beer the fastest. Like magic, the guards appear with ice-cold beer for them to skull, resulting in Deok-su beating his henchman.

    26. While this is going on, Sang-woo would reassure Ali that he remembers all the notes to "Hot Cross Buns" perfectly. He'll write the notation down for both of them, so they'll both be able to move to the next round. But first, he needs a pen and some paper, so he sets off trusting, innocent Ali to find some.

    27. While Ali is distracted, Sang-woo would then betray his friend and play "Hot Cross Buns" perfectly on the recorder to the guard watching him. He wins, Ali loses.

    28. Before being killed, Player One tells Gi-hun that he is his best mate — aka a trusted friend for those not familiar with Aussie culture.

    29. The players then return to the sleeping area, with the events of the last round replaying in their mind. Player 69, who out-danced his wife (their challenge was doing the Nutbush for as long as they could before falling to the ground), would then choose to eliminate himself.

    30. The fifth game would sound simple enough because it's hopscotch. Everyone knows how to play that! Except this time the court is laid out on a suspended bridge, meaning that if you step outside the lines or accidentally go too fast, you'll either be shot or fall to your death.

    The creepy doll from Squid Game, except its head has been replaced with an image of Healthy Harold

     31. Gi-hun, Sang-woo and Sae-byeok all proceed to the last round and are given a fancy dinner, which consists of premium Angus beef, Tasmanian Atlantic salmon, Balmain bugs, yabbys and Sydney rock oysters.

    32. At the end of the meal, they would each be given a chatterbox, which when opened would reveal a small knife.

    33. The sixth and final round would be between Gi-hun and Sang-woo, who have to face off while playing Helicopter. They both remember this game from their childhood. In fact, it was almost banned because the one wielding the skipping rope always ended up whacking the other kids' ankles too hard and made them bleed.

    34. Healthy Harold is back as the wielder of the skipping rope — which has been modified and now has extra deadly spikes lining the length of it.

    35. Things turn violent as Healthy Harold starts spinning the round faster and faster. Sang-woo would get out his Chatterbox knife, as would Gi-hun while attempting to jump over the rope. 

    36. Sang-woo would attempt to perform some gymnastics-esque moves that he remembers learning from the YMCA as a kid. But he trips and while Gi-hun offers his hand to stabilise him, it's too late. He's nicked by the rope and then stabs himself to save Gi-hun.

    37. Gi-hun, now a millionaire and returned to the world, goes to a barber shop. He's somewhere in the west of Sydney, maybe Penrith — he doesn't know. He looks at the pictures on the wall and tells the barber that he wants a fresh start. The barber smiles and tells him not to worry. Gi-hun later walks out with a glorious rat tail. 

    38. At this point, Gi-hun would take a train to Sydney airport so he could catch a flight to be reunited with his daughter. But at the station, he sees that salesman planning a game of slapsies with another unsuspecting bloke. Gi-hun chases the cunt, but just misses him as he slips onto a train headed towards Central.

    39. Gi-hun would continue towards the airport, but just before he boards his plane he decides to bring down this whole bloody organisation and get revenge, leading to a new season of Underbelly on Channel Nine — wait, that's not the right show.

    Gi-hun with red hair and a rat tail

    What other games and things do you think would happen in the Australian version of Squid Game?

    P.S. Here's more Squid Game content!

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