1. "Hey, statue?" – Hey, I didn't recognize you. Is that you?
2. "Tom Jones na ako." (I'm Tom Jones already) – I'm so hungry, please pass the rice.
3. "This is it, pancit!" – Whatever it is you've been very excited or anxious about, it's happening.
4. "Kainin mo 'yung pula ng itlog." (Eat the red part of the egg.) – Yes, I know it's not red but I'm referring to the yolk. Eat it.
5. "May tonsil ako." (I have a tonsil.) – Yes, I know all of us has a tonsil but it's easier to say than 'tonsillitis'.
6. "Lalabas 'yung aircon." (The air conditioner will go out.) – Close the damn door before the cold air gets out of the room.
7. "Apir!" – Good job! High five!
8. "Anak ng pating." (Son of a shark.) – This is quite a shitty situation but it's got nothing to do with sharks.
9. "Jumujulanis Morissette." – It's raining and I like making pop culture references.
10. "Push mo 'yan, 'teh!" (Push that, older sister!) – No, don't push whatever's in front of you. And you're not really my older sister. I just wanna say do whatever that pleases you.
11. "...'pag may time." (...if you have time.) – Whatever I said before this, do that first instead of other non-sensical things.
12. "Hiyang hiya naman ako sayo." (I'm so ashamed.) – You're a dick and I hate you but whatever.
13. "Keri lang." (Just carry.) – It's fine.
14. "Ikaw na!" – I know you didn't mean to brag but I'm still gonna call you out for it.
15. "Maliit na bagay." (It's a small thing.) – Yes, what I did was amazing and I'm fab af but I still gotta stay humble.
16. "Susmaryosep!" – Something very shocking happened that I just had to call Jesus, Mary, and Joseph with one word.
17. "Alam na!" (It is known.) – I know what you're up to.
18. "Tinuklaw ka na." (It already bit you.) – Whatever you're looking for is just right in front of you, stupid.
19. "Kinain ako." (It ate me.) – I don't know how the fuck to use this gadget, please help.
20. "Bahala na si Batman." (It's in Batman's hands now.) – I don't know what to do anymore so whatever.
21. "Mukha mo." (Your face.) – Whatever you're saying is bullshit.
22. "Bet ko 'yan." (That's my bet.) – YAAAAS I love that.
23. "May amats na ako." (I have amats already.) – I'm kind of drunk, jus' sayin'.
24. "Huli ka balbon!" (Caught you, you hairy creature.) – Caught you, and I'm gonna call you a hairy creature even though you're not because logic!
25. "Anong nakain mo?" (What have you eaten?) – Why are you acting so strange OMG stop.
26. "Luh, anyare?" – What the fuck happened here?
27. "Feeling mo naman!" – Stop being an assuming bitch.
28. "Papunta na 'ko, nag-aabang na lang ng jeep." (I'm on my way, just waiting for a jeepney.) – I just woke up.
29. "Papunta na 'ko, EDSA na." (I'm on my way, I'm at EDSA already.) – I might not get there at all.
30. "Pagoda Cold Wave Lotion na 'ko." (I'm already a brand of lotion.) – I'm so tired but I still manage to be sassy.
31. "Kumusta naman 'yon, 'di ba?" (How's that, right?) – I'm ranting about something and I'm expecting you to agree with me.
32. "Nosebleed." – I don't understand whatever it is you just said.
33. "Anak, nasaan ka na"? (Where are you, my child?) – You better get home now.
34. "Hating gabi na, nasaan ka na?" (It's already midnight, where are you?) – It's barely 9PM but you better get home now.
35. "Paabot ng ano." (Pass me the thing.) – I need you to pass me that thing I really need but I'm not gonna say what it is and I expect you to already know.
36. "Damo pa!" (More grass!) – It seems like you're high on marijuana 'cause you're not making any sense but you're funny so go on.
37. "Bababa ba?" – I'm not an alien. I'm actually asking a legit question—going down (on the elevator)?
38. "Bababa." – I'm also not an alien and yes, I'm going down.
39. "Una na 'ko." (I'm going first) – Goodbye.