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If You've Done 25/36 Of These Things, You're Probably Malandi AF

Ilan crush mo? 'Yung totoo.

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  1. Twitter: @BuzzFeedPH
    Had your first crush in pre-school
    Have at least three crushes
    And they change all the freaking time
    You’ve had a crush on your teacher
    TWICE
    Thrice?
    You’ve flirted your way to getting what you want at least once
    You’ve stalked your crush on Instagram
    And basically in all social media platforms
    And you’ve accidentally liked their post 53 weeks ago
    Ibang level ‘yung kilig mo nung chinat ka n’ya
    Kahit nagpa-like and share lang naman
    Tawang tawa ka sa jokes n’ya kahit corny
    May kasamang hampas pa
    Considered an achievement for you ‘yung legit kayong magka-chat ni crush
    And naging desperate ka na to keep the conversation going so kung anu-ano na lang tinanong mo
    Sobrang proud ka sa sarili mo ‘pag pinanood n'ya IG story mo
    You’ve subtweeted a cute person more times than you’re proud to admit
    And you’ve slid into their DMs on a night you were drunk
    ‘Pag ni-like n’ya ‘yung selfie mo, iniimagine mo na agad ‘yung kasal n’yo
    You always ALWAYS hit like on their posts
    Minsan first liker pa
    Tumatabi ka sa kanya ‘pag Ama Namin na
    And they’re the first one you look for ‘pag Peace Be With You na
    Nag-send ka na ng text na kunwari GM pero sa kanya mo lang talaga sinend
    Or kunwari wrong send pero sadya talaga ‘yun
    Or kunwari butt dial
    You’ve been told you’re “makati” by your friends
    And they always give you updates about your crushes because they know your thirst too well
    You’ve gone to a certain event just because nandun si crush
    Favorite linyahan mo ‘yung “Di kaya ako malandi!”
    And classic excuse mo naman ay “Friendly lang ako!”
    Tapos pagtatawanan ka lang ng friends mo ‘pag sinasabi mo ‘yun
    Minsan napapaisip ka na rin sa sarili mo why you’re the way that you are
    And in fairness naman, Bimb, you wanna change na
    Unless biglang dumating si crush so fuck dat and aura ka na ulit

If You've Done 25/36 Of These Things, You're Probably Malandi AF

You're not at all malandi! Step up your game, beshie! Charot.

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You're lowkey malandi. You can be malandi if you want to, if you're also okay with not scratching that itch, if you catch my drift. Saks lang, kumbaga.

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YOU'RE MALANDI AF! Confeeeermed beshie! DM mo na si crush, go! Nahiya ka pa eh!

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