The Least Dateable Superheroes

Yeah, superheroes are good looking and powerful, but not all of them have what it takes for a relationship. IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

1. Aquaman

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Aquaman would be a terrible boyfriend for the same reason everyone forgets about him already: He and living underwater come as a package deal. Oh, you wanted to go to a movie downtown Friday night? Sorry! Oh, you wanted to breathe? Sorry!

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Although let's give the man credit for commandeering a killer whale in the name of justice.

2. Black Canary

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Black Canary's main power is her sonic scream, which can literally decapitate people. I don't even have to say anything about this picture for you to know how annoying it would be to have her nag you.

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And don't think I forgot about you, Siryn. You are equally loud and annoying.

3. Thor

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Would this be considered a long distance relationship? Can they Skype on Asgard? Because I barely want to walk down the street to Starbucks much less take the Rainbow Bridge every two minutes.

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Although this is definitely challenging my laziness right now.

4. Batman

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I know I know. It's Batman. It pains me to say it, but he has to be on the list. Look at all the brooding this man does. Here is some BA moon brooding.

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Look at this flowy-cape brooding.

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And here is some emotional lightning brooding.

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Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

5. Wolverine

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Forget growing old together. Wolverine once survived a nuclear blast, which means you two won't be bonding over the terrible apple sauce at the nursing home in a few decades.

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Also let's talk about his anger issues. ^ That guy is supposed to buy you a Valentine's Day present.

6. Rogue

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Physical intimacy would be a no no with Rogue, due to her ability to absorb one's memories, strength, and skills through skin to skin contact.

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Remember that time she kissed Gambit, absorbed his memories of his criminal past, left him, and got the X-Men to expel him to the Arctic wilderness? GAMBIT DOES.

7. Spawn

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Spawn is a former CIA agent who sold his soul to a demon. Essentially he likes to keep secrets and make bad decisions.

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Also he is menacing as hell.

8. Squirrel Girl

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You could say that dating a superhero would have it's perks - maybe flying around with Superman, or cutting short your commute with Nightcrawler. Squirrel Girl's actual power is to control squirrels, so you will get absolutely ZERO from her, other than a weird picnic and probably rabies.

9. The Hulk

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NEVER EVER GET IN AN ARGUMENT WITH THIS GUY.

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You will lose.