1.
"Still hungover from Saturday. :("
2.
"Steve, you see me every day. I just forgot my keycard. Don't be a dick."
3.
"Do you ever feel like you're alone even when you're surrounded by people?"
4.
"They're all saying they like my new haircut, but do they really like my new haircut?"
5.
"What I wouldn't give for a spa day."
6.
"I'll just rest my eyes in this empty conference room for a minute... zzzzzz."
7.
"Only seven more hours of holding up this column and then I can go home and watch Dancing With the Stars."
8.
"Oh, how I miss the days when he couldn't talk."
9.
"If one more person cuts me off... I'm going to LOSE IT!"
10.
"Do you ever get the feeling that every single guy we work with is a creeper?"
11.
"My day was actually going OK before this pantless dickhead showed up."
12.
"Someone scheduled a meeting during lunchtime today."
13.
"Lobsters? Are you fucking kidding me? Rot in hell, kids."
14.
"Where'd I put my other contact?"
15.
"OK, maybe Black Magic Monday was a bad idea."
16.
"Dave! You promised you'd have the PowerPoint ready for this meeting. What the fuck?!"
17.
"It should NOT be this cold in November."
18.
"I don't get paid enough to wear this dumb uniform."
20.
"Well thanks for making me clean up your shit, Mr. Pickles. Now I'm going to be late for work."
21.
"Just give me one more minute. One more minute and I'll get out of bed."
22.
"So I'm having a liquid lunch. What of it?"
23.
"I'm fired? I'm fired?! FUCK YOU, I QUIT!"
