19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

Rhymes with “shmarks.”

Let’s start by making sure we’re all on the same page:

OK? OK. Let’s begin:

6. Oh, you’re going to the beach? No.

7. Absolutely not.

8. “Nope nope nope nope,” say all the little fishies.

10. Hahahahahahaha! No.

11. Even animated…NOPE.

12. Innocent, land-locked Slip ‘N Slide?


14. A shark so ugly that even his momma is like “Nope!”

15. Your trip to the beach this summer (a dramatization):

Nope nope nope.

16. A big, flying nooooope!

19. Epilogue: Are you safe not at the beach?

Nooooope! Moving to Kansas. Bye!

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