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17 Steps To Win Any Argument From A 2011 Episode Of "Real Housewives Of Atlanta"

"I am very rich, bitch!"

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We often refer to drama as "so high school," but that's merely a fairy tale we whisper to ourselves to sleep better. Life is full drama and there will always be battles to win and lose.

1. To win any argument, arrive early at your meeting locale.

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It would be ideal if you could also select the location, so you can play on your home turf, but if you're unable to — arriving early is a MUST. You need to be able to scope out the scene.

Is the meeting place empty? Will people overhear sensitive information you will be discussing? Or can you use that to your advantage (i.e. your opponent will be too embarrassed to go into the gory details)?

2. Order a drink to relax.

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Libations will put you at ease!

Or something that will moisten your tastebuds and get you ready for a verbal sparring, but also, don't pick something that will get you too comfortable or wasted. Notice how NeNe stuck to wine, it's classy. No hard liquor. And nothing too recreational like rosé — this isn't a social call.

3. Catch your opponent off guard by ordering for them.

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It's definitely a territorial move, but since it's polite, you can't exactly be attacked for it. Your opponent would look rude denying the drink unless they're, like, allergic.

4. Know that this will not be handled civilly.

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Girl, for one, you're on a reality show. Second of all, if an argument gets to the point where you have to arrange a sitdown to hash out your drama, it's clearly led to a boiling point.

5. Give a clear (probably false) mission statement.

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You're obviously going to get out of character. This is an argument. But you can't just state up front "I am going to drag you." You need to feign an attempt at civility.

A mission statement should include shade.

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Translation: "This entire conversation is a waste of my time, but oh well."

This will make it clear that you have no intention of being civil, but it's a bit like calling shotgun on a road trip. You've expressed your intent. And later, you can refer to the fact that you had only the best intentions (even if you did not).

6. Demand answers from the other party.

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The absolute best way to engage an argument is to not have to explain yourself, at least at first. Make your opponent explain themselves first. Stating that they are the one with the problem keeps you in the position of level-headed sane person dealing with a crazy person.

8. Don't try to get fake deep.

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Two people arguing over money is not systemic of problems among BLACK WOMEN. Don't try being J. Cole and crooning about larger societal issues, because you will end up sounding like you feel asleep in the philosophy class you audited at NYU.

9. Call the veracity of your opponent's arguments into question.

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Translation: "Can you even trust this person you've known all of five seconds?"

Just the mere suggestion that Sheree doesn't know Tyrone that well is enough to negate everything she's brought up.

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Further explain if you feel you need to. Remind your opponent that you two have a history, which should be more than enough for them to get over their hurt feelings.

Note: This tactic ONLY works if you are actually a trustworthy friend. If you're known for lying or you actually aren't even friends with your opponent, don't try this at home. For instance, my father would have some gall asking, "how long have you known me?" considering the last time I saw him was — sorry, I digress.

10. SHOW THOSE RECEIPTS.

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Do you know how long it takes people to get exposed for lying? He said/she said is a legit thing in the real world and not just on Days of Our Lives. If you have the receipts, show them.

Translation: Receipts are evidence.

11. Create a diversion.

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If you're about to be exposed, you need a diversion QUICK. Either you're about to be found in the wrong, or you don't trust the source coming forward, but you know this argument is about to be over quick.

12. Deny, deny, deny.

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You could be caught with a smoking gun in your handing standing over a body and you still don't admit you've killed someone until you speak to your attorney. The same goes for a fight. When you've lost, do not accept defeat if there's still a chance to argue a point.

If you've not yet flat out said "everything you believe is a lie, there's no reason to be mad at me," now is the time to pull it out!

13. Present a counter-argument.

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The key part of this argument is that NeNe needs a way out. And she's already paid for their drinks, so she has the upper hand in "treating" Sheree. Nene has no real defense here, but she CAN say that it's preposterous to accuse of her of taking money from Sheree when she has money of her OWN.

ACCENTUATE.

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Don't just say you're rich, say HOW MUCH money you make. In turn, if your argument is not about money, you can just accentuate the reasons WHY this argument is ridiculous in the first place.

If you're accused of eating a a co-worker's sandwich, for instance, mention you have ALL the sandwiches. In fact, you're a CHEF, why would you eat their bargain basement sandwich?

14. Draw blood (verbally, of course).

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If you're losing control of the fight (and you probably will) the one surefire way to win any fight is to start another fight. If you've already reached the point of no return, then you need an insult that will have your opponent so pissed they'll forget about why they sat down with you in the first place.

Shade will not suffice here, you need to draw blood. NeNe goes for the gusto here and stays on theme — they're talking about money, so why not mention that Sheree is broke?

15. Have a denouement.

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This isn't really a new tactic, it just sums up everything NeNe has spoken to during the entire argument. "I am very rich, bitch" just says it all, doesn't it? The "in conclusion" is silent.

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And if her point was money, NeNe acknowledges that her teeth were, in fact, not up to par at one point but she now has the money to fix them. And she has!

In other words, stay on topic, or your clapback will get swatted away.

17. Make a swift exit.

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Once you've delivered a denouement like "I am very rich, bitch!" you need to exit stage left. Continuing to argue back and forth will do no one any good and you will lose all leverage.

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