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20 Times Drake Had You Crawling Through The Desert Dying Of Thirst

Parched /pärCHt/ adjective. Extremely thirsty.

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1. Drake is a bit like a sandstorm. His sole reason for being is to elicit thirst.

2. Does he go for the obvious and let you lust after his chest?

3. Or perhaps let you fantasize about his Wheelchair Jimmy?

4. No, he knows which asset of his is best left unclothed.

6. Cut to perfection like the Colossus of Rhodes, only there's no Mandraki Harbour for you to slurp the necessary amount of saltwater to keep hydrated.

7. Drake plays in the water, but you will have NONE. You must remain parched.

8. His arms often perform feats of strength.

9. Rumor has it Britney Spears' "Stronger" is actually about Drake's arms.

10. Kelly Clarkson had to get in on the game and write her own "Stronger" ode to Drake's arms.

11. But wait, Imma let you finish, but Kanye's "Stronger" is the best song about Drake's arms EVER.

12. The best thing about Drake's arms is that they're attached to those hirsute armpits.

13. And those "Joe Manganiello Who?" pecs.

14. But don't get it twisted, Drake pays equal attention to his legs.

15. You'll never see Drake with a basic "Legs day!" Facebook status update, because EVERY DAY IS LEGS DAY.

16. But he never forgets about his arms.

17. His boys don't cry because they lose basketball games, they cry because Drake never misses a chance to bare his arms.

18. In fact, Drake is applying to be a U.S. Citizen just to enjoy his right to BEAR ARMS.

19. But carrying those arms around all day can be tiring, so sometimes Drake sips some Hennessy and hums some Anita Baker until he falls asleep.

20. But with Drake, there is never a farewell to arms. The next day he's back at it.

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