1. When people flood your Facebook timeline with their newborns' photos.
Let’s get one thing straight, dogs are cuter than humans. Therefore puppies are cuter than babies. We need more dogs not babies!
2. When that massive stubborn zit shows up on your nose in the morning.
Beauty isn't one thing...It's simple, it's complex. It's subjective, it's objective. It's orderly, it's chaotic. It's inside, it's outside.
3. When someone asks "How's it going?" and you're on your period.
I hate mornings, afternoons, evenings and nights. The rest of the time is awesome.
4. When the garlic bread arrives with your pizza.
I’m convinced that when bread and I get into a room, there is this crazy chemistry between us and I can feel it calling me to eat
5. When you're covered in pizza crust crumbs with no regrets.
My jeans hate pizza. My tongue loves it. My jeans are bigger than my tongue, yet, my tongue always wins. #PizzaIsYourFriend
6. When you're trying to reach the world count on an essay.
Stuff is just stuff. Its only when we start getting stuffed with stuff, it stops being stuff. Thats when we need to get stuffed!
7. When you decide to go on a boyfriend hunt.
I am awake…grinding…for my exotic sword!
8. When you realise someone looks TOTALLY different from their Tinder pic.
What is observable is a lie. It is what is in-observable that is the truth. i.e we can never know the truth i.e everything is a lie
9. When you're taking a leak and start having philosophical thoughts.
…Also…”I pee funny” and epiphany are two entirely different things as well #JustSaying
10. When you're telling a joke and realise it was only funny in your head.
Conundrum:(UC's dictionary)you take a drum. You dismantle it (undrum). Then you sell it it to someone as if its still a drum...(con)ning him
11. When you care for animals too much.
Thought for today: Can elephants have oral sex?
12. When you get the umpteenth Candy Crush request.
The world may one day come to an end but somewhere far far away on a deserted road, a phone will beep and a candy crush invite will pop up
13. When you no longer have friends because of your puns.
What do you say, when a guy overlooks a girls unkempt hair? Mister missed her messed hair.
14. When your internet conks out and you start losing your mind.
The sad truth is, that HashtagHashtag, #Hashtag and ## are really 3 different things altogether
15. When you finally understand one maths chapter.
I feel numbers are alive, not like humans are, but they do have desire. Each number desires to be 0 but they can't and that is their tragedy
16. When you're still in grade five.
My last tweet was 69 characters. Just saying!
17. And when you hit the blunt too hard.
Has anyone thought that, my blue might be your red. Like, we’re all seeing diff colors but we call it the same name.
Keep being you, Uday.
