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29 Lies All Indians Tell

"I'm five minutes away, yaar, just stuck in some traffic."

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1.

Translation: I'm literally still in bed.
Naveen0301 / Getty Images

Translation: I'm literally still in bed.

2.

Translation: Okay, the guy is definitely, like, nine years older than her. They look very odd together, TBVFH.
Digital Vision. / Getty Images

Translation: Okay, the guy is definitely, like, nine years older than her. They look very odd together, TBVFH.

3.

Translation: I'm lost AF.
Phil Date / Getty Images

Translation: I'm lost AF.

4.

Translation: MIIIIIIIIIISSSSSS, ADITYA JUST POURED ALL THE GLUE ON THE DESK.
Triloks / Getty Images

Translation: MIIIIIIIIIISSSSSS, ADITYA JUST POURED ALL THE GLUE ON THE DESK.

5.

Translation: Please accept this marriage proposal. I can't go through another round of this bullshit.
Sze Fei Wong / Getty Images

Translation: Please accept this marriage proposal. I can't go through another round of this bullshit.

6.

Translation: 500 bucks is an exorbitant amount. I'm internally screaming while handing you the money.
Medioimages / Getty Images

Translation: 500 bucks is an exorbitant amount. I'm internally screaming while handing you the money.

7.

Translation: By "in my life," I mean since lunch.
Aaaaaaa Aaa>aa / Getty Images

Translation: By "in my life," I mean since lunch.

8.

Translation: What in your fucking lifetime do you think you're doing showing us all your nephew's photos. This is an office.
Sjenner13 / Getty Images

Translation: What in your fucking lifetime do you think you're doing showing us all your nephew's photos. This is an office.

9.

Translation: Just tell me you've been having an affair and then suffer my wrath, you lil shit. Is he even Brahmin? Tell me he's Brahmin or you're dead.
Tanya Constantine / Getty Images

Translation: Just tell me you've been having an affair and then suffer my wrath, you lil shit. Is he even Brahmin? Tell me he's Brahmin or you're dead.

10.

Translation: Four of my film reviews have been published in different papers over the last year. Also, I have a blog, soooo, duh.
Dragonimages / Getty Images

Translation: Four of my film reviews have been published in different papers over the last year. Also, I have a blog, soooo, duh.

11.

Translation: Wow, what a fuck-up. You should have known better.
Digital Vision / Getty Images

Translation: Wow, what a fuck-up. You should have known better.

12.

Translations: I've cut down on eating vada pavs and butter chicken to about thrice a week now.
Michaeljung / Getty Images

Translations: I've cut down on eating vada pavs and butter chicken to about thrice a week now.

13.

Translation: Hello, sir. This is Raghuvir from Pune. How can I help you today?
Jupiterimages / Getty Images

Translation: Hello, sir. This is Raghuvir from Pune. How can I help you today?

14.

Translation: That selfish bitch is getting no less than sale rack clothing on her birthday from me.
Yamini Chao / Getty Images

Translation: That selfish bitch is getting no less than sale rack clothing on her birthday from me.

15.

Translation: SAVE ME, I'M SURVIVING ON MAGGI. LIVING ALONE IS NOT FOR ME.
Vingeran / Getty Images

Translation: SAVE ME, I'M SURVIVING ON MAGGI. LIVING ALONE IS NOT FOR ME.

16.

Translation: Hahah! I studied all night and will pass with flying fucking colours, bitches beware.
Intellistudies / Getty Images

Translation: Hahah! I studied all night and will pass with flying fucking colours, bitches beware.

17.

Translation: Radhika looks tacky as fuck. Seriously, who did her make-up?
Creatas / Getty Images

Translation: Radhika looks tacky as fuck. Seriously, who did her make-up?

18.

Translation: I am literally stalking her as we speak. Who the fuck is this Ali guy?
Sjenner13 / Getty Images

Translation: I am literally stalking her as we speak. Who the fuck is this Ali guy?

19.

Translation: I'll have to pull up my trousers and I haven't shaved my legs in 34 days.
Medioimages / Getty Images

Translation: I'll have to pull up my trousers and I haven't shaved my legs in 34 days.

20.

Translation: I totally knew you were veg, but I didn't want to order an entire serving for just one person.
Spotmatik / Getty Images

Translation: I totally knew you were veg, but I didn't want to order an entire serving for just one person.

21.

Translation: We were threatened with suicide and elopement. This was entirely against our will otherwise.
Monkeybusinessimages / Getty Images

Translation: We were threatened with suicide and elopement. This was entirely against our will otherwise.

22.

Translation: I don't really care about your life, but I need a favour.
Intellistudies / Getty Images

Translation: I don't really care about your life, but I need a favour.

23.

Translation: LOL nope. This is my Parsi great grandmother's secret recipe, you little shit. Go find your own Parsi great grandmother who cooked divine food.
Snowwhiteimages / Getty Images

Translation: LOL nope. This is my Parsi great grandmother's secret recipe, you little shit. Go find your own Parsi great grandmother who cooked divine food.

24.

Translation: I have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Is Kejriwal the president now?
Gamut Stockimages / Getty Images

Translation: I have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Is Kejriwal the president now?

25.

Translation: I drink Royal Stag all the time in the comfort of my home. This attitude is for bars.
Lovleah / Getty Images

Translation: I drink Royal Stag all the time in the comfort of my home. This attitude is for bars.

26.

Translation: I literally say this to anyone near me every time I smoke up.
Katarzynabialasiewicz / Getty Images

Translation: I literally say this to anyone near me every time I smoke up.

27.

Translation: I've been on Twitter for abooout a good four years now.
Michaeljung / Getty Images

Translation: I've been on Twitter for abooout a good four years now.

28.

Translation: Who doesn't touch their phone for hours? I was obv ignoring you. Take the hint, bro.
Vingeran / Getty Images

Translation: Who doesn't touch their phone for hours? I was obv ignoring you. Take the hint, bro.

29.

Translation: Okay, so the wifi actually was down. It's always down. But I will still never read your emails.
Hemera Technologies / jupiterimages.com

Translation: Okay, so the wifi actually was down. It's always down. But I will still never read your emails.