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24 Problems Only Desi Babies Will Understand

"Cheeks so fat, can't tell if I'm eating gulab jamuns or I AM one."

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1. Having a teeka and eyebrows drawn on as soon as you're born. #FreshOutTheWomb #BrowGameStrong

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3. Being crushed under the weight of your immense royal swag.

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4. Keeping your family's honour alive by wearing at least twelve pieces of heavy, real gold jewelry at all times.

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5. Which requires being able to wear at least 25 gold bangles by the time you can sit on your own.

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6. Losing the original shape of your face, thanks to constant cheek-pinching by adults.

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7. And those poor cheeks were already beyond hope due to being stuffed with gulab jamuns.

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10. Being wrapped in at least 12 layers all year round.

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11. Or being totally naked. There are only two options, really.

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12. Being powerless against your aunts dressing you up like a doll and posting funny pictures of you on the internet.

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13. Hearing parents plan your entire wedding twentysomething years in advance.

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14. The pressure of being expected to gracefully carry traditional clothes by age 1.

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15. But silently bearing with your parents' non-traditional clothing choices.

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16. Dealing with the leftover scrap of your mum's new clothes always being made into an outfit for you.

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17. The pressure of looking like a good taxpaying citizen by age 2.

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18. Having at least one chacha or mausi who cannot stop taking selfies with you.

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19. The pressure of being the coolest accessory at weddings.

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20. Casually dressing up as the golden inside foil of a cigarette packet.

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21. Training hard to be able to masterfully bhangra as soon as you can walk.

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22. Being constantly torn in a dada-dadi versus nana-nani custody battle.

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23. Getting tossed between an average of 10 laps per day.

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24. Because everyone in the family loves you wayyyy too much to be normal.

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