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There's a lot of weird stuff you don't learn in Sunday school about the Tanakh, also called the Hebrew Bible or Old Testament. Which one of the 24 books in the Tanakh best fits your personality?

Which Book In The Hebrew Bible Best Represents You?

Be honest. If you don't know, ask one of them. If you don't have one of them, sorry about that! See below.

How would your friends describe you?

How would your enemies describe you?

Besides the correct set of genitals for your orientation.

What do you look for in a romantic partner?

Your dream career is:

Your ideal meal:

Favorite book series:

You are a romantic. You spend your days writing love poems to your crush. But you are so naturally charismatic that your crush is hopelessly in love with you too! It's good to be the king!

Song of Songs

You have seen the world, and it is BS. You don't see any purpose to existence. The sun goes up, the sun comes down, we just keep running around our hamster wheel of fate. Three thousand years ago this was sage wisdom. Nowadays most psychiatrists would prescribe you some Prozac.

Ecclesiastes

You have a set of rules. And you live by those rules. Those rules mostly involve meat and shtupping, but you follow them to the letter. If you were in a 1980s frat comedy you would be the party-pooping dean. That's okay. And occasionally, out of all this anal-retentiveness, you say something of true beauty and insight - Chapter 19, anyone?

Leviticus

Sheesh, man, just chill out a little! What with half of you being a self-promoting genocidal madman and the other half being basically the most boring lecturer in college history (you know the one - basically Professor Binns from Harry Potter but alive), you are truly not that much fun to hang out with.

Joshua

Poor guy. You could use a hug. People can be just so stupid, you know that. And when they're planning something stupid (like pulling three consecutive all-nighters, getting completely wasted on a Tuesday afternoon, or allying Judah with the weakening Egyptian monarchy), no matter how much you warn them not to do it, they'll just barge into it and ruin everything. If it makes you feel any better realize that for generations to come people will paint pictures of you sobbing.

Jeremiah

Some day, all your millions of descendants will read the account of this quiz, and say, "Truly our progenitor was amazing." But for now, you're just slowly aging. Don't worry, you'll always be young at heart! Watch out for water, big tall buildings and blindness.

Genesis

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Which Book In The Hebrew Bible Best Represents You?

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