Four Body Parts You Never Thought About Washing

By Huck Hutchinson

1. The Tragus

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Many people assume, wrongly, that the tragus is too small a body part to regularly wash, saying things like, "who washes their Tragus? Do you also wash your pollex?! Dipshit." In fact, the tragus, despite its size, is exposed to many germs and bacteria, many of which can cause overwhelming ear pain and a reduced sense of hearing. Not to mention, a filthy tragus just looks bad.

2. The Philtrum

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As many mustached individuals already know, a large amount of sediment gathered on the Philtrum can lead to a very uncomfortable rash. This is commonly known as the "Philtrum Itch." However, with a little care, the "Philtrum Itch" can be avoided. Simply remember to give it a good scrub after meals and mud baths.

3. The Liver

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Recent studies have found that the liver is, in fact, an important part of your body and that good liver upkeep leads to surprising benefits e.g. a long life, energy, weight loss and better cardiovascular function. And clean-up is simple. Just reduce the toxins you put in your body and furnish it instead with fruits and vegetables. Though a clean liver won't help you score with the guys and gals it will help you live to a decent age.

4. The Hallux or "Big Toe"

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"Now why wash the big toe?" Some people might ask. The answer is: Leadership. The big toe is a role model. It is like the foot version of the thumb. Four little piggies aren't going anywhere if their leader is swallowed up in grime. Not to mention, when engaging in oral foot-play, the big toe is the go-to limb. As we all know, these urges strike us when we least expect. If you find yourself in the public library mid-day with a partner who has just felt "the urge," and your Hallux is as dirty as a the tip of a rat's tail, you can bet your ass that they'll ask you to put it away as soon as you whip it out. And just like that, a mutually pleasurable experience will be gone.