Having siblings is a normal thing in most people's lives. You argue, laugh, cry, and confide in each other; you have a built in best friend and partner in crime; you have someone who just "gets' you. At least, that's how my sister and I are. We may have an 11 year age difference and look completely different, but I can assure you, we're in this for the long run. In May of 2003, just two days after I turned 12, my sister Julie was officially adopted into my family. I didn't get to meet her until our parents got home from China a week or so later, but I can promise you from the first moment I laid eyes on her, everything changed. The 12 years before Julie is a blur in my memory, my life really hadn't started until she entered it. That's just how soulmates work, I guess
This outpour of feelings is prompted towards the end of 2015's National Adoption Month, which is more for people whose lives haven't been touched or affected by adoption, a time of spreading awareness of people's experiences and insights. Recently, China proposed a change to it's infamous 'One Child Policy' (OCP). This OCP has been in effect for over 30 years and over those years thousands of children, mostly girls, have been left to grow up in orphanages. Since the 1980s many American families have enhanced their families by adopting a percentage of these girls (and the occasional boy). The changing of this policy brings up many questions and emotions for adoptees and their families.
There are many voices in the Chinese adoptee community. I follow a few of the more prominent ones, and have read their reactions to the policy changes. Most admit a lot of confusing and emotional thoughts. Many consist of 'how would this have changed my life, had it been enacted 20 years ago?' and 'what are my birth parents feeling right now.' For many adoptees those answers will never be answered, and they will always live in a slightly altered reality of 'what ifs?' As a sibling of an adoptee, I at times feel guilty for being the biological one in he family, which may sound ridiculous, but there are times I just want her to never live through those 'what ifs,' wishing I could take that possible worry from her. But we are who we are, and who am I? I'm Holly, sister and soulmate to Julie and nothing will ever change that.
My family and my life would not be the same without my Julie. We can't be 100% sure the OCP was the cause of my sister's particular situation, but it generally is the reason. It was probably the hardest decision her birth family ever had to make, but I just know in my heart she was meant to be in my life as my soulmate and I hope they know in their hearts she is loved so much and brings happiness to everyone she meets.
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