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17 Inanimate Objects That Definitely Need To Be Sexualized

It's like a bunch of advertising execs had a meeting and said, “What if you could fuck everything?"

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1. A candy coated piece of chocolate.

2. Bread with cheese and tomato sauce on it:

3. A cleaning device made of blended, artificial fibers.

4. A hard boiled egg cut in half with various ingredients mixed in the yolk.

Good morning sexy deviled egg was the first ad I saw online today.

5. A piece of exercise equipment intended to strengthen muscles.

6. A device used to illuminate a room.

7. Poultry

8. The dried leaves that combine with boiling water to form a hot beverage.

9. The pink-ish fruit borne by a deciduous tree native to China. A peach, y'all. A goddamn peach.

10. The fruit borne from the tree/shrub species genus Pyrus.

11. The dairy spread made from churning cream, in spray can form.

12. This beer centaur woman.

13. An anthropomorphized plastic horse.

14. A cartoon cow mascot.

15. A fictional 7-year-old girl who goes on adventures.

(Dora's "makeover" was later backtracked after criticism.)(OK, *technically* Dora is an animated object but c'mon!)

(Dora's "makeover" was later backtracked after criticism.)

(OK, *technically* Dora is an animated object but c'mon!)

16. Someone's lunch.

17. And whatever in the goddamn hell this is.

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