1. They deceived this person about L. Ron Hubbard’s attractiveness.
2. They fondled this person’s North Face jacket.
3. They stood in front of the DSW this person shops at.
4. They did not give this person free Kool Aid or sneakers.
5. They did not give this person enough free food.
6. They made this person “want to go jump off a bridge.”
7. They strong-armed this person.
8. They chain smoked and looked “cracky as shit” when this person was around.
9. They’ve kept this person’s block safe.
10. They served this person a satisfying, reasonably price brunch of chicken crepes.
11. They served this person “terrific” orange juice.
12. They were great entertainment for this person when no good zombie movies were out.
13. They talked to this person “about real things,” not “Snooki’s DUI.”
- The Dakota Access Pipeline will no longer cross under a river near the Standing Rock Sioux reservation, a major victory for protesters.
- The death toll from Oakland's warehouse party fire has risen to 33. "We're expecting the worst and hoping for the best," officials said Sunday.
- An anti-establishment wave has prompted Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi to resign after losing a constitutional referendum.
- A woman clapped back at her anti-gay neighbor using festive rainbow Christmas lights 🎄👏