1. They deceived this person about L. Ron Hubbard’s attractiveness.
2. They fondled this person’s North Face jacket.
3. They stood in front of the DSW this person shops at.
4. They did not give this person free Kool Aid or sneakers.
5. They did not give this person enough free food.
6. They made this person “want to go jump off a bridge.”
7. They strong-armed this person.
8. They chain smoked and looked “cracky as shit” when this person was around.
9. They’ve kept this person’s block safe.
10. They served this person a satisfying, reasonably price brunch of chicken crepes.
11. They served this person “terrific” orange juice.
12. They were great entertainment for this person when no good zombie movies were out.
13. They talked to this person “about real things,” not “Snooki’s DUI.”
- "Moonlight" won Best Picture at the Oscars, but they accidentally gave it to "La La Land" first 😳
- Philip Bilden, the businessman nominated by President Trump to be secretary of the Navy, has withdrawn himself from consideration.
- Actor Bill Paxton has died at 61. He starred in classics including "Twister" and "Titanic."
- The Nokia brick phone is making a comeback — it's been reimagined with a colored screen, but the game Snake hasn't gone anywhere 🐍📲