1. They deceived this person about L. Ron Hubbard’s attractiveness.
2. They fondled this person’s North Face jacket.
3. They stood in front of the DSW this person shops at.
4. They did not give this person free Kool Aid or sneakers.
5. They did not give this person enough free food.
6. They made this person “want to go jump off a bridge.”
7. They strong-armed this person.
8. They chain smoked and looked “cracky as shit” when this person was around.
9. They’ve kept this person’s block safe.
10. They served this person a satisfying, reasonably price brunch of chicken crepes.
11. They served this person “terrific” orange juice.
12. They were great entertainment for this person when no good zombie movies were out.
13. They talked to this person “about real things,” not “Snooki’s DUI.”
- Donald Trump's pick for commerce secretary, Wilbur Ross, admitted at his confirmation hearing he once employed an undocumented immigrant as a household worker.
- It's official: Scientists announced today that 2016 was the hottest year on record and that greenhouse gasses are to blame ♨️️🌍
- President Obama commuted Chelsea Manning's 35-year sentence for giving classified documents to WikiLeaks. She'll be freed in May.
- "Will & Grace" will return for a 10-episode revival. Debra Messing and Eric McCormack will reprise their roles in the groundbreaking NBC sitcom.