14 Of The Most Bizarre Things That Ever Happened On "Take Me Out"
Say it with me: no likey, no lighty.
Despite having the entertainment factor of 3000 Newcastle hen parties distilled down into a single explosive cloud of heterosexuality,
Take Me Out has been tragically axed after 10 years. Here are its most baffling and memorable moments.
When Sam used a sander on his unmentionables.
Talk about trying to 'spark love'. Paddy said: "what Sam is about to do is guaranteed to get you hot under the collar but DO NOT try this at home." Sam went on to use an angle grinder to create a shower of sparks from his crotch. Let's hope the health and safety inspectors did a full site assessment first.
When Seaneen absolutely wasn't having it.
When Belfast-born Seaneen signed up to go on
Take Me Out, she probably didn't expect to run into a former Tinder date who went on to ghost her, but that's exactly what happened. And to be fair, she handled it perfectly – by immediately turning her light off and then calling him out. Go Seaneen!
When this man PUT CHEESE ON HIS CORNFLAKES.
"Johnny eats cheese with absolutely everything. He grates it on his cereal, he even sprinkles it on ice cream." Cue the sound of many, many lights being turned off at once. Maybe not the best thing to reveal on a first date. Or ever, in fact.
When Damion 'The Omen' offended 30 women at once.
This cringey clip has racked up an unprecedented 6,622,854 views on YouTube, and watching it you can definitely see why. The model from Weston-Super-Mare spent several painful minutes telling Lucy (who turned her light off) why he would have picked her. Then he grudgingly picked Chelsea, but called her 'Lucy'. Argh.
When this chap got a bad reception.
Whyte Richardson was awesome, but for some reason he got a poor reception from the girls – 25 turned their lights out immediately, possibly because he looks a bit like Lucius Malfoy. On one video called “the world’s worst
Take Me Out start" the top comment is “those filthy muggles didn’t deserve him anyway”.
When we were introduced to David from Luton.
David from Luton was a strange but wonderful choice for a programme that was mainly about men with six packs dancing like Peter Andre in the 'Mysterious Girl' video, but the OAP postman managed to hang onto a few ladies despite admitting he liked jigsaw puzzles. Hope you found love in the end, Dave.
Not to mention Tez from Sheffield.
Dreadlocked Tez was described (accurately) by Paddy as a 'sexy wookie', and he wasn't wrong. Tez started out playing some pots and pans like he was in a Poundland version of
Stomp, and charmed a lot of women with his skills. He also accidentally walked into a wall, cementing his place in the Take Me Out hall of fame.
When Nick encountered his ex-girlfriend.
Looci Sohma and her ex Nick Knight bumped into each other on
Take Me Out, and actually reunited (aww). However, in "is romance actually dead" news, it has transpired that love did not blossom on their holiday; the couple have since gone their separate ways and decided to stay friends.
When Emma stacked it – and was rescued by Paddy.
It was only a matter of time before one of these lovely ladies in bodycon dresses and seventy-inch platforms fell over, but she did it with style at least. Thankfully, Paddy picked her up and carried her to her podium, ever the gentleman.
When Jane McDonald didn't really help.
Loose Women star Jane McDonald tried to help her staff member by saying: "This is gorgeous Gregor - apparently he's 'very very funny', don't forget, keep those lights on!" Talk about damning with faint praise. They did not keep their lights on. Oh no. At least he got a hug from Paddy.
When steampunk Lee found The One.
Nineteen girls turned off their lights despite the fact Paddy described Lee as a "sexy Al Capone," but Cony left her light on – well done Cony.
When this girl compared herself to a tree.
"I'm green and he's brown: I'd look like a tree if I got on top." What if her mum was watching?? It doesn't bear thinking about.
When ‘James The Body’ drank Prosecco out of his pecs.
James introduced himself as a body builder, stripper and topless barman who liked small furry animals. Despite that, everyone turned their lights off,
weird. In hindsight it might be the drinking prosecco out of his chest area before going on to cuddle a guinea pig might have been less sexy than he'd initially hoped.
And when Lulu was forced to touch some gherkins.
If you have a crippling phobia of pickled cucumbers, it's probably not a good idea to reveal this to an ITV production team. It's moments like this that certainly marked
Take Me Out as one of the weirdest dating shows in the history of British TV. For that reason, and many others, it will be missed.
All together now: "no likey, no lighty."
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