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26 Things You Learn When You Move From Melbourne To Sydney

The struggle is real.

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1. The city isn't laid out like a convenient grid.

youtube.com

Sydney streets are tangled like a set of headphone cables.

2. When you go out for breakfast, instead of goat’s cheese being served with everything, it's haloumi.

Marvel

I mean, we like the squeaky cheese as much as anyone but can’t the two co-exist on a menu?

3. There’s a surprisingly similar north-south divide...

Big Machine

...except the cool people and the posh people swap sides of the water in Sydney.

4. It is more possible than you'd think to get bad coffee.

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#prayforMelbournians.

5. When you go furniture shopping, no one understands what you mean by "very Franco Cozzo".

Universal Pictures

They've also never heard of Dejour jeans.

6. Bondi is basically Sydney’s version of St Kilda.

NBC

But has Paul Kelly ever sung about it? I don't think so.

7. No one wants to answer questions about the monorail.

FOX

"Mono... d'oh!"

8. The dodgy-looking laneways don’t actually conceal the city’s best bars.

CBS

Just a few rats, and a couple of lone milk crates.

9. You don’t need to pack sunglasses, an umbrella, a jumper, and a jacket every time you leave the house.

HBO

"Four seasons in one day" has no meaning in Sydney.

10. People wear colour. Like, regularly.

MTV

These lunatics are not to be trusted.

11. Everything suddenly has a different name.

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Schooners? Potato scallops? Bubblers? Togs?

12. The harbour is a cliché, but it will legit take your breath away.

Cartoon Network

It’s pretty. Stop trying to pretend otherwise.

13. When making plans to get out of town for the weekend, you don’t have to consult the footy fixture.

BBC

And hardly anyone asks you who you barrack for.

14. It pays to plan ahead with public transport.

BBC

You can’t just walk out the door and jump on a tram. Devastating.

15. And the train timetable can be hella confusing.

20th Century Fox

Why do some of these trains stop at my station but some just miss it entirely?

16. The lockout laws exist and aren't going anywhere.

Sony

Sydney has a 1.30am lockout, while Melbourne has 24-hour public transport on weekends.

17. Your shabby chic look won’t go down nearly as well in a Sydney bar as it did at Longplay in Fitzroy North.

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This city has a different definition of dressing up.

18. Buses could be the death of you.

Paramount

You'll wind up with at least one Nightrider bus story you'll remember forever.

19. People will act like they hate you. They probably don't, they're just a lot less friendly than back home.

Comedy Central

Unless they actually do hate you.

20. You'll feel an irrational desire to get a tan.

NBC

It's hard to be surrounded by so many people gleaming with a hearty-looking glow.

21. And at some stage, you might be tempted to wear jeans with a blazer.

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It's a Sydney thing.

22. Housing is even more expensive than everyone warned you about.

Universal

And smashed avocado won't keep you warm at night.

23. Everyone walks super fast.

ABC

Embrace the hustle of George Street.

24. Being ~arty~ is often condemned, not condoned.

Lionsgate Films

"Do you actually make any money off your hand-crocheted nipple pasties?"

25. Street art just isn't the same.

Banksy?? Is that you?
Twitter: @DroneUrban

Banksy?? Is that you?

26. Oh, and Sydney is far more Melbourne than it would like to admit.

20th Century Fox

Just look at all the transplanted restaurants. Now, now, let’s not argue about who had which first.