The 25 Stages Of University Freshers Week

Everything on this list will inevitably happen to you.

1. Your parents have loaded up the car with everything you have ever owned and dumped it all in your new student residence. Suddenly everything seems considerably more daunting.

2. A big part of you is absolutely terrified of meeting new, unfamiliar people. All you really want to do is go home and hide in bed.

3. You meet one fabulous person from across the hall and instantly become best friends. You completely forget about wanting to go home.

4. You party hard at your first freshers event.


And the next one.

6. On at least one occasion, you wake up fully clothed on the floor, with absolutely no idea what happened last night.

7. You are tagged in plenty photos of you looking fabulous with all your new friends on Facebook.

8. And in many, many photos you wish never ended up online.

9. You sign up to dozens of university clubs and organisations, but never actually show up to any of their meetings.

10. Eventually, you’ll try to cook your own meals, possibly for the first time in your life.

11. You discover that you are sharing a kitchen with at least one person who appears to have no concept of hygiene.

12. Despite your best efforts to be your campus’s answer to Nigella, things in the kitchen don’t turn out as well as you imagined.

13. Eventually, you admit defeat and order some fast food.

14. You meet someone totally beautiful and charming on a night out/during your course induction/at the freshers fair and fall hopelessly in love with them. You start planning your future together and decide that you have met your life partner.

15. But the next time you see them you are horrifically drunk and embarrass yourself in front of them. You can never talk to this person ever again.

16. You desperately miss your friends from home and decide to Skype them all, only to discover that they have been doing all sorts of scandalous things without you.

17. You are struck by a horrible moment of home sickness and decide that you have to talk to every member of your family, immediately.

18. Your parents will try and convince you that fresher’s week is about exploring the local area and reading up on your new degree subject, not just partying with your new pals.

19. You accidentally make a really bad first impression on at least one person on a night out. Don’t worry, you will probably never talk to them ever again.

20. You end up kissing someone inappropriate/unattractive after consuming a few beverages one night.

21. And seem to bump into them anywhere and everywhere from that night onwards.

22. The week is finally nearing an end and you realise you have to start doing some real work.

23. You attempt some pre-reading for your new course, but are immediately overwhelmed.

24. But with a little help from your new friends, you manage to figure out what the hell you’re supposed to be doing. High fives all round!

25. You turn up to the first day of lectures after a crazy week with new friends. Congratulations, you survived freshers week!

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