I want to share my story.
I contracted HSV from a one night fling, he never told me. I'm not sure if he knew or he was in denial, because he was still in denial when i told him.
At the time i contracted it, I had a few casual partners. I was always very sexual with the idealism of being non-monagmous. All of a sudden I was dealing for the first time with rejection… ontop of it, my outbreaks were quite aggressive. I spiraled into a deep depression. I didn't want herpes to change me, although i questioned my sexual lifestyle, i knew i hadn't done anything wrong. But i had to change. I couldn't continue with the sexual lifestyle I had been living… It was also strange because now i was a woman without sexual power. So, I suffered in my head and dealt with my outbreaks feeling very alone.
I used this website for support. Everyone kept telling me i can still date a non HSV person, but i knew it was going to be difficult, especially with my case. So one evening i decided to try a dating site called HerpesMeetup.com.
First impressions of the site… Creepy! There was hardly anyone from my area, and the ones that were did not seem like quality people. I got harassed by a couple of the guys from my area. I broadened my search to North America, and the quality of most of the people still seemed questionable, which actually made me feel more depressed. I thought, this is the group of fish-in-the-sea i have reduced myself too. And where are all these people with HSV?! I thought the majority of the population was supposed to have it!
I continued to browse the site… There was only ONE person who stood out to me. I would read his profile over and over. Peek at his pictures throughout the day. He really seemed perfect for me. But he was all the way in Florida… And i was in Canada. I thought, don't bother… it will never happen, he's too far away. Don't set yourself up for more disappointment.
One day, he sent me a message. And he told me the same thing i was thinking! "You keep standing out to me on this dating site."
What did i do? I blew him off! I didn't want to be disappointed i couldn't meet him.
After awhile i noticed he changed his picture… He is SOOOO handsome, and he cut his hair into a retro style (i really dig retro) so i couldn't help myself. I wrote him "Nice hair"
It sparked a conversation and immediately i realized, this guy is special. He also had the same HSV as me, which he has had for 15 years.
Suddenly we were talking on the phone. Then everyday. Then Skyping everyday. We hadn't even met each other but we started feeling like this was a relationship.
We would cook together on Skype, watch movies, and on "date nights" he would have dinner delivered to my home and we would eat together.
After four months we were dying to meet. So I flew down to visit him for two weeks. It was the best two weeks of my life. We just complimented each other so much it wasn't even funny. People would stop us and tell us how happy we looked.
When i had to leave i felt like i was ripping my heart out. I never felt this way about anyone before, i never felt so connected. I am a woman who knows what she wants, and i have never been willing to settle. But for the first time i felt like, this is the one. I never thought i would meet that man. And for the first time i was also fantasizing about marriage! I have never been a conventional woman, so these were really REALLY new feelings.
After a year i came to visit him again, and he proposed! We got married and we live in a little piece of jungle together. I'm so happy!
I really do suffer from severe outbreaks, BUT i remind myself everyday i would have never met my soul mate if it wasn't for herpes. And therefore i am grateful to have it.
We are both not very conventional people. We eloped for the marriage, but are still planning a big wedding celebration for the family, which is basically going to be a big party and bbq in our backyard. He is a Creative Director whose into punk and I am a Burlesque Artist… It's perfect.
So the moral of the story is this. Always be optimistic. And use your STI as an excuse to evolve and perhaps take more risks in an effort to be happier.
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