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The Strange, Bi-Polar Journey Of Being Unemployed

Being unemployed has its ups and downs...

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At first you're all like, PEACE OUT MUTHA FUCKAS.

Which leads to, PARTY LIKE A BOSS, BITCHES! I GOT NOWHERE TO BE!

But then you're all... WHHHHY!?

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And then it finally hits you like, FUCK... I'm an unemployed loser...

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And suddenly, THE PANIC KICKS IN....

And you feel like, Oh. My. God... My life is going NOWHERE.

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And you're friends begin to get a little annoyed about this.

But then they go to work and you're all like, I'LL BE RIGHT HERE... MAXIN' N' RELAXIN'!

And you've got nothing but time so you're all like, I'M GOING TO DO ALL THE SHIT I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT BUT NEVER ACTUALLY DO!

And then you realize you have to do those things all alone because your friends... well.... they have jobs.

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And then you think, Hey it's ok... I can do awesome ALL BY MYSELF!

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Then you realize.... Shit... travels and adventures cost money....

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So you end up doing a lot of binge watching...

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Which after a few weeks becomes more than any human can (or should) handle...

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But then your unemployment check comes and you're all like, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MOOONEY.....MONAAAAY!

But then you pay your bills and you're all like, There must be SOMETHING fun to do for $16 or less... Right?

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So you think to yourself, OK... I need a job, but THIS time, I'm going to do it right. IT'S A FRESH START!

So you start filling out applications to your DREAM jobs!

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But you don't hear anything...

So you lower the bar a little and apply to things you KNOW you could get...

Then you go to the interview and give these bastards everything you've got...

But you can tell right away they don't want you...

So after a few more weeks you begin applying to ANY fucking job that will have you...

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But the shitty places won't hire you either because you're "over qualified"

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And you're friends are all like, "Yeah, but at least you don't have to wake up early in the morning, right!?"

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Day in and day out the feeling of uselessness weighs down upon you...

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And before long you begin to reach a level of insanity that you're not sure you'll ever recover from...

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But then just when you start to think, FUCK IT....

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YOU GET THE MOTHA FUCKING PHONE CALL OF YOUR LIFE!

And you're pretty friggin' excited to finally belong somewhere....

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And that's when you realize.... back to the grind, sucka.

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