1. The “My mother never taught me to clean up after myself”
This is a common occurrence if you work retail. Even the smartest and most professional of people somehow forget how to take the clothes they don’t want, fold them or put them on a hanger and bring them to the nearest employee. We aren’t your mothers and it isn’t our job to pick up after you!!! It is frustrating and yes we judge you!!!
2. The “That poopy diaper smell is not coming from my baby”
We all love mothers and we all love babies. When you work retail this combination can be interesting. You see a mother pushing a stroller, you go over to tell her how cute her perfect child is and then it hits you….that smell that is like nothing you have ever smelt before. You try your hardest to not react or gag, you let her know to call you over if she needs any assistance and then you run towards the fresh air!!
3. The “I don’t have my receipt but I would like a full refund”
Ok so here’s a not so secret secret…if you look directly on your receipt it will tell you exactly what the refund policy is. If for some reason your receipt is the ONLY one in the world that doesn’t have it then all you need to do is ask as we are all well versed in our policies. If you do NOT have a receipt, you will NOT get a full refund. You may get an exchange or a store credit. You can argue as much as you want and even try to blame us for not giving you a receipt in the first place which we all know is a lie. Our hands are tied when it comes to this policy so please keep your receipts!!!
4. The “Well the store is already messy so they wont notice if I just throw these shoes on the floor”
Part of a retail associates job is to maintain the store as well as provide superior customer service and to run back and forth from the fitting room getting you sizes. We understand that it is not the customers job to do anything whilst in the store HOWEVER this also means that we would appreciate it if you DIDN’T add to the mess. Most likely everyone is busy providing that superior customer service I previously mentioned and we will eventually get to the mess so do us a favour and just put the item back where it belongs. Thank you!
5. The “Well this public fitting room seems like a perfect place to have sex”
Yes you read that right. There are actually people out there that think this is an awesome idea. I mean I’m all for being adventurous BUT I don’t want to see it. If we notice this we are meant to approach the room (pretending we have no idea what is happening) and ask if you need any assistance or if we can get you a different size. We are of course referring to clothing when we ask these questions so my advice is to realize you have been caught stop what you are doing and do the walk of shame right out of the store. Oh and we will tell everyone we know about this!!
6. The ” All the stores are closing but I’m not done yet”
Yeah we hate these people. Once the store is closed we still have another hour where we have to clean the store and restock so when you walk in as we are closing you are making our already long and tiring day worse. Please don’t be this person!!!
7. The “I’m the customer and I’m always right”
The majority of sales associates know the policies and procedures quite well and will try their best to assist you with all of your questions. We are not against you, we do not make the rules so if we do everything we can to help you and you are still not satisfied then we are sorry but yelling at us and asking for our manager is not gonna make you any happier!!
8. The “Why are you playing Christmas music in October”
TRUST ME we are as unhappy as you are about this. The difference is we have to hear these songs everyday for 3 months. We don’t control what music is played or how annoying the songs are. So in this situation please have some pity for us and be an awesome customer!
9. The ” It’s Christmas eve and I don’t understand why you don’t have the size I want”
Besides back to school this is the worst time of year. The store most likely looks like a bulldozer has driven right through it and basically our job is crowd control. You will not find what you are looking for because most likely someone has already purchased it weeks before. Here is my advice… don’t wait until the day before ANY holiday to go shopping because you will not find exactly what you want!!!
10. The “Its Boxing day: why are the lines so long and why isn’t everything 90% off?”
We don’t have the answer to this. We don’t make the prices or the rules. Boxing day sales last a full week so you don’t need to be waiting outside the door before the store even opens. Again our job during this crazy week is basically crowd control so please be patient!!!
11. The “What do you mean I have to pay for the more expensive one and get the cheaper one for free?”
We weren’t born yesterday and we do posses common sense so you will not win this argument however listening to you justify your crazy idea is super entertaining so we will listen to everything you have to say!
12. The “No I haven’t worn these items and I would like to return them”
Ummmm unless you think I am blind we BOTH know that you wore the item. Avoiding eye contact with me when you tell me you never wore them doesn’t make me believe you more!!! You aren’t going to get your money back but at least be honest!
13. The “I would like to return this item that I bought at another store”
Most of the time this is just a common mistake and is really funny but there are actually people out there that will argue with you even though the name of the store on the tag or receipt is very different from the store you are trying to return it to!!
14. The “Do you have this in a size 2?”
Ok it’s very awkward when this happens. We do have a size 2 but it wont fit you but I now have to find a polite way to let you know this. I would rather deal with fitting room sexers then deal with this. Please know your size and be realistic!!!